Many people struggle to control alcohol because they’re not motivated by sobriety. But being sober isn’t just about not drinking.
Sobriety is achieved by putting energy and effort toward something you really desire.
Knowing why you want something is just as important as knowing what you want.
Why do you want to control your drinking? To feel better about your- self? To achieve wellbeing goals? Because you’re afraid that your drinking it taking over your body and your life? To inspire others? Because you’re curious that what you’ve been hearing is true—life really is better sober? Or something else?
We’ll explore more ways to help you discover your driving purpose later in this book, but first here are just a few benefits of achieving sobriety:
• Improved mental health and wellbeing
• Better physical health
• Improved emotional health
• Elevated spiritual health
• Saves money
• Enriches your relationships
• Is an indispensable part of fulfilment
• Energizes you
• Liberates you
• Will change your life and the lives of those who matter most to you
Being sober sounds great, and it is. But the challenge is that so many of us have been brainwashed into believing it’s awesome to be drunk. As I share later in this book, many of the people we look up to, including our political leaders have a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol—no wonder it’s hard to implement laws aimed at reducing alcohol harm.
But if it’s cool to be high, why do so many of us want to quit? Why do thousands of people sign on for Dry July or make New Year’s resolutions to lose the booze only to be coerced or bullied into drinking again?
Giving up drinking can feel like losing your best friend, even your lover—until you remind yourself how alcohol is a fickle companion who lets you down again and again.
Sobriety, now there’s a forever friend.
She won’t turn sour, she won’t piss you off, or get mad at you, and she won’t rob you blind. Sobriety won’t hijack your brain and make you say and do things you’ll wildly regret in the wake of hangover hell.
Sobriety is not seedy or unpleasant. Sobriety is a sophisticated, serene, stabilizer in a world gone mad.
2. Not drunk
3. Thoughtful, steady, down-to-earth and level-headed
4. Serene, earnest
5. Not addicted
Who doesn’t want a friend like that?
Sadly, the opposite is also true. Some of my best, most trusted friends turn into tyrants, either at the time of drinking or in the days that follow. These are just a few of the changes I notice when they drink alcohol:
• Overly critical
Unlike alcohol, sobriety can be trusted.
Throughout this book I’ll discuss some of my strategies for living in a booze soaked world, including how I keep my energy and vibration levels high and don’t allow drunks to dull my sparkle.
One simple strategy I do find helpful, however, is to pin inspiring quotes somewhere visible to remind me to censure the tendency to demand others change or to judge.
Letting go of judgment creates peace, strength, and ultimately increases joy. Becoming judgment-free and leading by example is also one of the key sobriety steps recommended by many successful addiction programs. This includes self-judgment and self-criticism.
My current go-to quote is by Abraham Hicks, “Let others vibrate how they vibrate and want the best for them. Never mind how they’re flowing to you. You concentrate on how you’re flowing because one who is connected to the energy stream is more powerful, more influential than a million who are not.”
You can see this quote, along with the image of a young woman in a glass jar, sending her loving light into the world. The jar represents the shield she places around herself, to protect her from negative people and dark outside forces.
I also invite love, not fear or anger to guide my day. I’m not saying it’s easy—if it were the world would be a happier place. I work to remember how my loved ones are when they’re sober—how kind they are, how caring. This love extends to me too. I know I’m a nicer, kinder person sober than I am drunk.
Exercising self-love, however, means accepting that sometimes there comes a time when being around people who abuse alcohol becomes too toxic. Their drinking may undermine your health, threaten your resolve, or cause you to constantly fear for your life. There are times you may have to quit not only the booze, but people, places and relationships that hold you back.
Finding joy in sobriety is a lifestyle choice—a very personal, and very empowered and empowering choice. It’s a choice you make with eyes wide open, determined to celebrate and make the most of your one precious life in every way.
Humor, as you’ll also discover, goes a long way.
This man is giving birth to a six-pack…‘Father and beers are doing swell.’
It’s a picture I drew in my Sobriety Journal, in part to remind me how staying sober improves my waistline.
Call it like it is….would you like a shot of ethanol and a gallon of sugar with that?
“I work with people and their whanau/families on a daily basis who have, have had or have recovered from Alcohol and Other Drug issues. The damage caused by AOD overuse and abuse is enormous and has ongoing negative effects on our society and future generations mainly due to observation and learned behaviours. I really like the approach that this book takes in not attempting to stop drinking totally. It instead explains and coaches how to manage and cope with consuming alcohol so that the damaging effects may be minimised. This is a very useful supportive book for ‘drinkers’ and their families. It is a book that is very easy to read and understand. I really like the quotes, sayings and tools contained therein. This book is much bigger than just the social and familial issues with alcohol – It is in a very big way about ‘Your Beautiful Mind’. It fits very well with my style of practice and that is to start with the basics and move onwards and upwards from there. I see in the book an AHA (awakening, honesty, action) moment in the book. I really get the reference to wisdom (The smart person knows what to say, the wise person knows when to say it) and the associated learning. I will be recommending this ‘must read’ book to my clients and their whanau/families and anybody else who will listen”.
~ Philipe Eyton, Counsellor, Life and Leadership Coach, BSocP, NZAC (Stud)
“One thing that I like about this book is that the author doesn’t trash other recovery programs whether she agrees with them or not. This approach is very different (and refreshing) from other books I’ve read that claim to be the “real or only solution” which involves tearing down other methods in the process, but as Cassandra’s book alludes—one form of recovery may work for some people and not others—it depends on the person, their physiology, background, life experience, etc. At first, I thought the segments about advertising would be boring but they actually really appealed to the part of me that loves science, facts, and proof. Reading the explanations led to many “Aha!” moments! I also felt so relieved to read there is a sober/not drinking movement going on. I felt relieved and hopeful. How I wish this was going on when I started my own drinking career in my early teens. I’m feeling so grateful to Cassandra for writing it. There is so much vital information packed into this book and I wish fervently that it ends up on the best seller list!”
Lisa Ruggiero, Amazon 5-Star Review
“This is a book for anyone who is struggling with alcohol (or even overeating/comfort eating – it can be used for several addictions) as a way to encourage the reader to look at their drinking (or other affliction) in a loving way, encouraging the reader to work with their intelligent self, on a loving level, it offers support, (you don’t feel alone), it offers stories of awareness, idea’s for moving beyond the clutches of alcohol and experiencing the joy of living a full, creative, and/or self-loving life.”
~ Catherine Sloan, Counselor
“I see people that I would love to give this book recommendation to. They need this in their lives-a few of who would not consider, they have any problem with alcohol, nor have any desire to stop drinking – but I liked this book because the message is that you take control of how you steer the ship. You can choose to decrease and manage your drinking or you can choose to omit alcohol altogether from your life.
Alcohol is abused and I know a few young people (18-25yrs) that haven’t a clue of what they’re drinking or the impacts on them physically, mentally or emotionally. This is huge. Yet each and every week they are returning to the bottle to find some solace in drinking or in fact getting pissed.
I love the connection Cassandra shares with herself in this book. The Sobriety Journal she mentions and has created is a fantastic tool – and I would recommend people use conjunction with this book and your own journey- it will do wonders. It’s a great reflective tool also to go back to down the track, as Cassandra has openly displayed herself.
I am quite surprised myself about the new knowledge I gained from what I read in this book. And wondered why when I was drinking did I never stop to consider what I was drinking, what my drink was made of and how- never ever! I can remember thinking, I wonder how many calories are in this beer. Or how much sugar. But never looked it up as such, as I didn’t actually want to know at the time. I was in somewhat of a denial. I just wanted to consume it anyway. I quite often was sick on the evening or the next day after a binge.
So this information needs to be shared and is available in this book. I think that’s fantastic. It’s not too complex. At first, I wondered if I would see my younger relatives reading this and relating to it. And thought, maybe not. But then when momentum picked up and the diverse realities were seen and heard – I thought it would relate to many soft spots they have and I hopefully allow them to take control of themselves and their drinking.
Loving what I read. I am seeing some home truths and common vulnerabilities which makes this book relatable to many.
“I like the content of the book a lot. As an ex-drunk who quit for both mental and physical health reasons, it’s very affirming. I like her comment that she’s yet to meet an ex-drinker who preferred life as a drinker.
I think it will appeal to both people who are considering change and people who have made a change to their drinking and want both affirmation and some information so they can explain why to their friends.
I like its meandering style (it makes me think of sharing in a group). It’s too good a message to ignore.”
~ Andrew Nicholls
I am an artist, storyteller, intuitive guide, mentor and Reiki master. All my creations are infused with positive energy , inspiration, and light. I believe in magic and the power of beauty, joy, love, purpose, and creativity to transform your life. My greatest joy is helping your realize your dreams. That makes my soul sing!
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