“The world is not dangerous because of those who do harm but because of those who look at it without doing anything.”
~ Albert Einstein, genuis
December 2016—the year I took control of my drinking. Like you, I’d grown concerned about how much, and how regularly I was consuming alcohol.
I knew the side-effects, and I didn’t like them—insomnia, depression, aggression, muddled thinking, bloating, weight gain and more. But still, I couldn’t quit.
One month of sobriety was the longest time I’d ever managed to not let a single drop of alcohol pass my lips.
I tried reading books, used self-hypnosis, made a star-chart and ticked off my alcohol-free days. There were two ticks one week, none the next, then some longer stretches. But despite my positive intentions and extraordinary will booze always ended victoriously.
Until Christmas 2016 when I finally got angry—and scared—enough to make a change. To protect others’ privacy I won’t go into detail, suffice to say my turning point involved a rifle, shots fired and fearing for my life.
But my motivation and my personal story of alcohol being in control began earlier than that. My grandmother was an alcoholic. And her father before that—and both their stories, like many people affected by alcohol was one of tragedy.
In the 1930’s one drunken brawl outside the local pub in New Zealand left one man dead and my great-grandfather charged with murder.
My grandmother was four, and her brother aged six, when they were taken into foster care. They never saw their mother, father or each other again.
I’ve always wondered, had it not been for the trauma Molly experienced as a child, and throughout her life, would she have sought happiness in a bottle?
The tragedy didn’t end there. Years later her brother, then in his 30’s and married with three children, took his life.
Recently, at the time of writing, my mother shared how her childhood was scarred. “Mum was always drinking. We would come home and she would be in bed. I don’t recall her ever not being drunk.”
Their story, my story, your story is a far too common one.
”My step-father was an alcoholic and I lived through rough times with alcohol,” shared a reader recently.
“I hope your book does help many people. I personally believe a book like this would not have helped my dad. Only complete removal of alcohol would have helped my dad. Just my opinion that you cannot control alcohol. You must remove it,” he added. “I do hope your book does help many lives that are affected by alcohol though.”
Hope, as you read through this book, is an important element of any recovery—as is a desire for change.
As an advance reader, for whom alcoholism runs through her family, wrote to me, “Drunks believe they have ‘freedom’ because their stupor releases them from what they cannot face in life.”
For many, many people complete removal of alcohol is the only cure. Our booze-loving culture does not make it easy. Many people don’t know why they drink, nor how to find alternative help. Something, I have written this book to change.
This book is not an anti-alcohol book, although I don’t sugar-coat the truth about alcohol and the powerful economic and social forces that profit from misery.
It offers a fresh approach, encouraging you to approach your relationship to alcohol more mindfully.
While I feel it’s important to highlight the dangers of drinking too much, my aim is to highlight the life-changing benefits of drinking far less.
Importantly, I’ll share some simple but effective ways to build greater resilience to triggers, alternatives to alcohol and how to mix, mingle and practice sober socialising—and still feel cool.
In 2014, I was struggling through my psychology degree after a 10-year break from study.
For years prior to this I had been obsessively collecting newspaper articles which highlight the social harm alcohol imposed. And I began to get frustrated not just at my own inability to control my drinking, but why—when everyone knows how harmful alcohol is—the problem was only becoming worse.
Bored and frustrated with my studies and the tendency of Western psychological approaches to pathologize alcohol dependence, I decided to research spiritual approaches to the treatment of alcohol addiction. I went from D’s to A’s in my grades and found both passion, purpose, and calling.
(I invite you to visit my earlier posts where I share some of my research:
—The truth about Alcohol Addiction and Recovery—Wrestling With the God Thing
But importantly, I found something that resonated with me in my own quest to stop drinking.
Drinking too much didn’t make me psychologically abnormal—as those who pathologize alcoholics, and alcohol-dependent people would have us believe.
It’s time you knew the truth…
Drinking too much is a culturally sanctioned, actively encouraged “cure” for the dis-ease of modern life. Except it isn’t a cure at all. It’s not a sustainable quick fix. It doesn’t heal the damage, stress and unresolved wounds of your past.
Many people are using alcohol, consciously or unconsciously, to self-medicate all or some of the following:
• Low self-esteem
• Sexual Abuse
Many people who have battled their alcohol addiction overcame obstacles just like you and I. But the single biggest factor was their ability to take control of their own life.
Sometimes they deferred to experts. Sometimes they turned to God. Sometimes they joined a support group, or they embraced spontaneous sobriety and went it alone.
But the one thing they all had in common was the knowledge that their drinking was taking more than it was giving.
In every instance, when people nailed their drink demons, they universally agreed that their life was more beautiful sober.
“I gave up alcohol in 1980. I enjoyed it far too much, to the point where I frequently got intoxicated. Everything in my life changed for the better stopped. It was the right decision,” said medical doctor and self-empowerment author Deepak Chopra
The pursuit of sobriety born from my own experience, both professionally as a holistic psychologist, and personally as a woman with a genetic predisposition to alcoholism, fueled my desire and determination to liberate others from the clutches of booze.
During a recent interview, I was asked: ‘What do you hope readers get out of Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More? My response was “wisdom.”
If I can help people gain new knowledge, enhance their awareness and stretch their minds—not necessarily agreeing with what I’m saying but at least starting a conversation, or helping them along in their lives in some way—then Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More has added something to their lives.
My hope is that you will discover freedom, find happiness and change your life. And that one day, should our paths cross, you will tell me that your life is beautiful.
Who Is This Book For?
If you want to control your drinking and live a life on your own terms, this book is for you.
If you’re a heavy drinker or love someone who is, Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More will provide support and encouragement to continue the journey to health and happiness.
If you suffer from stress, fear, doubt, or overly trying to fit in with others, Drink! Control Alcohol and Love Life More will come to your rescue.
Or, you might just want to inspire others and lead the way by controlling alcohol, either by cutting back or giving up completely.
This was my motivation for writing this book, and for sharing the strategies that have worked for me and which have also worked for my clients.
Often we have to be the change we want to see. Part of this involves passing on the knowledge that we’ve learned.
As New Zealand psychologist and television personality Nigel Latta says, “It’s also interesting, don’t you think, that given the alcohol industry thinks education is so important, their contribution to ‘education’ of the public is so… well… limp. They don’t even bother to put any real resources into ‘education’ even though they say it will make a difference.”
As you’ll discover throughout the book, many techniques which have helped people successfully control alcohol and overcome addictions have their origins in body-based healing. Others originate in the mind, others still by resolving harmful emotions and other still from spiritual approaches, including meditation and prayer.
I had originally thought to separate the chapters into mind, body, and spirit, but as everything truly is connected I felt it was important to present the information as such. Therefore what you will find is a smorgasbord of offerings for you to digest at your leisure.
All I ask is that you maintain an open-mind, follow your curiosity and trust, that with knowledge and the right support, you truly can heal yourself.
Where to draw the line? When you’re worried that you’re drinking is getting out of control or are suffering from the effects of alcohol it’s likely you’ll want a quick cure. Something instant to take the pain away.
I can honestly say, that I wrote this book to find my own quick-fix. But once I began to research, uncover the lies and awaken to the truth, this fascinating area became a full-blown obsession. As you’ll discover in this book cultivating new healthy purpose-driven cures can totally and quickly cure harmful addictions.
You may not find all the answers here, I had to stop somewhere, but there are a great deal many helpful resources at your disposal—many of which lie within this book and some of which I have included in the back section.
We have always been told that drinking lots of alcohol or make us happy, cooler, more relaxed—that sobriety is for losers. These are big fat lies.
We’ve also been told that it’s our fault that we drink too much—we lack will-power, we’re weak, we just can’t handle it, we’re self-centered, too lazy—plus a truckload of other insulting and disempowering stuff.
These are also big fat lies.
It’s also a big fat lie to say that only drug companies and their rainbow-colored pharmaceuticals are our relapse-safe cure for addictions.
So stop listening to people with hidden agendas, quit putting yourself down, and read this—really read and absorb this—because it will empower you to achieve the results you want….fast!
Profit-driven alcohol companies may not be driven to make a difference, but I am.
My hope is that you step into this journey joyfully, that despite any trepidation, fear or worry, you may feel, that you’ll discover learning to control alcohol is a pleasure that you never forget to enjoy.
Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More offers short, sound-bites of stand-alone readings designed to help you cultivate awareness and reexamine your relationship to alcohol amid the challenges of daily living.
More than a collection of thoughts for the day, Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More oﬀers a progressive program of holistic—mental, emotional, physical and spiritual—study, guiding you through essential concepts, themes, and practices on the path to sobriety, well-being, joy, and happiness.
The teachings are gently humorous, sometimes challenging, occasionally provocative, but always compassionate and kind, and, I hope, seemingly infinitely wise.
All that I share are strategies that have worked for me personally through many of my own life challenges, and for my clients in my professional work as a holistic psychologist and self-empowerment coach.
A central tenet of this book is to provide you information and education that counteracts the dominant messages provided by booze barons whose purpose in life is to help you drink more. Of course, they want you to drink—their mission is to spin a profit. But now it’s time to open your eyes and educate your mind, and make informed choices about what you are ingesting (ethanol and sugar), how much, and why.
Armed with the Truth about alcohol you will gain:
• A new way to see and understand your relationship to alcohol
• The removal of the fear and stigma of trying to admit you need help
• Insight into the reasons why drinking too much is not your fault and that you have just become another cultural conditioning statistic
Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More will strengthen your subconscious desire NOT to drink and help you make healthy, lasting, self-empowered change.
Experts suggest that it takes months, even years, of hardship to stop drinking. This book offers a different view.
But at the end of the day, no one can make you control your drinking. You have to want to change. It is my hope, Your Beautiful Mind will strengthen the intention to quit or cut back drinking. The choice is yours, my friend.
Within this choice, is the choice to seek help, or not, for problems that keep you stuck, peer pressure that keeps you drinking, or traumas and open wounds that need healing—not numbing with alcohol.
I hope you will choose to free yourself from pain freedom, happiness, health, and joy.
Your Beautiful Mind features the most essential and stirring passages from my previous books, exploring topics such as meditation, mindfulness, positive health behaviors, and touching on ways to working with fear, depression, anxiety, and other painful emotions.
Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More expands upon my previous books and blends the latest scientific research, spotlights the cultural, social, and industry factors that support alcohol dependence, and also encourages a more holistic and mindful approach to the seriousness of life and the ever-present stressors we all face.
As one advance reviewer, wrote to me, “The people who I work with are wanting to eliminate alcohol from their lives and rebuild their lives, families, and relationships. They do not want permission, approval or instruction on how to drink mindfully or in any other way.” The purpose of this book is not to condone, legitimize or sanction problem drinking. Being mindful doesn’t mean being obstinately blind to the very real perils of alcohol abuse and addiction. Being mindful is a call to awakening and purposeful action to build the life you want—free of addiction.
Through the course of this book, you will learn practical, creative and simple methods for overcoming subconscious scripts that keep you craving alcohol, heightening awareness and overcoming habitual patterns and addictive behaviors that block happiness and joy and hold you back.
Brimming with a smorgasbord of easy to apply strategies that will boost your mental, emotional and physical well-being, Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More is a timeless call to action for anyone who wants to cut back or quit drinking alcohol, get their life back and create a healthier, happier, joyful time on this planet.
Your Concise Guide to Success
Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More is a concise guide to controlling alcohol. My vision, like many of my other self-empowerment books, was simple: a few short, easy to digest tips for time-challenged, distraction-loaded, people who were looking for inspiration and practical strategies to encourage positive change.
In this era of information overload and distraction, I knew that people didn’t need a large wad of words to feel inspired, gain clarity and be stimulated to take action.
In coaching and counseling sessions I’d encourage my clients to ask a question they would like answered. The questions could be specific, such as, ‘How can I stop drinking?’ Or vague, for example, ‘What do I most need to know?’ They were always amazed at how readily answers flowed.
In this era of information obesity, the need for simple, life-affirming messages is even more important. If you are looking for inspiration and practical tips, in short, sweet sound bites, this guide is for you.
Similarly, if you’re a grazer, or someone more methodical, this guide will also work for you. Pick a section or page at random, or work through the tips sequentially. I encourage you to experiment, be open-minded and try new things. I promise you will achieve outstanding results.
Let experience be your teacher. Give your brain a well-needed break. Balance ‘why’ with how you feel and embrace how you feel or how you want to feel. Honor the messages from your intuition and follow your path with heart.
At the time of writing, I’ve just turned to the chapter, Your Body Barometer. It’s a timely reminder that when you drink too much your mental, emotional and spiritual health can suffer.
The following remark from Coco Chanel may also speak to you: “I invented my life by taking for granted that everything I did not like would have an opposite, which I would like.”
Your Beautiful Mind takes a holistic look at what it means, and what it takes, to control alcohol. Everything is related—mind, body, and spirit…to succeed in your quest to control alcohol you’ll need to empower them all.
To avoid overwhelm and facilitate a smorgasbord of healing options I’ve sectioned Your Beautiful Mind into a cluster of principles. Principles aren’t constricting rules unable to be shaped, but general and fundamental truths which may be used to help guide your choices.
Let’s look briefly at The Three Principles of Sobriety and what each will cover:
Principle One, “The Call For Sobriety” will help you explore the truth about controlling alcohol and define sobriety on your own terms. You’ll discover the rewards and ‘realities’ of becoming booze free, and intensify success-building beliefs.
You’ll learn some truths powerful business would rather see hidden, and clarify the huge costs alcohol imposes on all of us in Principle Two, “Rethinking Drinking.” You’ll also discover why love, anger, igniting the fire within, and heeding the call for self-empowerment is the cornerstone of future success.
Actions shout louder than words. Principle Three: “Strategies for Sobriety,” will help you take back control. You’ll learn how to tame your subconscious mind, deal with stress, trauma, societal pressure and other life-stuff that may drive you to drink.
Love will be your new drug of choice. Love for yourself, your significant others and your life. Passion, purpose, joy—call it what you will, love is the cure for all our ills.
It sounds simple. And it is.
In this section of the book, you’ll clarify and visualize what you really want to achieve. You’ll then be better able to decide where best to invest your time and energy. You’ll also begin exploring ways to develop your life and career in light of your passions and purposeful sobriety, maintain focus and bring your vision to successful reality. Strategies to help you empower your spirit urge you to pay attention to the things that feed your soul, awaken your curiosity, stir your imagination and create passion in your life. You’ll also discover how to strengthen your connection to your superconscious mind.
You may be surprised to discover that you have three mind tools—you’ll discoverer ways to empower them all to overcome obstacles, achieve greater balance and fulfillment and maximize your success.
“Your health is your wealth yet it’s often a neglected part of success. Techniques to help you heal and empower your body recognizes the importance of a strong, flexible and healthy body to your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual success. You’ll be reminded of simple strategies which reinforce the importance of quality of breath, movement, nutrition, and sleep. Avoiding burnout is also a huge factor in maintaining sobriety. When you do less and look after yourself more, you can and will achieve freedom from alcohol.
Throughout Your Beautiful Mind, you’ll also boost your awareness of how surrounding yourself with your vibe tribe will fast-track your success, and when it’s best to ditch your booze buddies or go it alone.
Even if you think you’ve got the alcohol thing licked or you don’t believe you’re addicted, so many people struggle to control their drinking or quit. You’ll discover some of the most successful ways people have overcome their dependence on alcohol or addiction to booze and achieved freedom for good.
You’ll be inspired by others success. Importantly you’ll learn how following your own truth will set you free.
“What we learn with pleasure we never forget.”
~ Alfred Mercier, physician
Whenever I’m in a slump or needing an inspirational boost I turn to people who are smarter or more skilled than me for good advice.
I’ve done the same with qualities I’ve wanted to develop, like patience. “What would Mother Theresa do now?” I asked many years ago. Mother Theresa wouldn’t shout! She wouldn’t lose her cool. She’d send loving kindness and smile. And that’s what I did whenever I got frustrated.
As I wrote Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More I applied the strategies I’m sharing with you in my own life—personally and professionally.
If you’ve been drinking too much, or just getting in your own way, you’re in good company, many successful, talented, beautiful people have been there. I’ve been there too—as have many, many people. Guess what, drinking too much and getting in your own way is, sadly, normal.
I promise there are solutions to the problems you’re currently facing—and you’ll find them in the pages that follow.
Dig into this book and let me, and other alcohol control experts, be your mentor, inspiration and guide as we call forth your passions, purpose, and potential.
Through the teachings of others, extensive research into alcohol recovery, the mysteries of motivation, success, and fulfillment, and my own personal experience and professional success with clients as a holistic psychologist, Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More will help you accelerate success.
Together, we will guide you to where you need to go next and give you practical steps to control alcohol and find freedom and happiness.
Growing up I wasn’t encouraged to drink less. My hope is that after reading Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More that you will be!
Step into this ride joyfully and start creating your best life today.
• If you want to have more energy and fire in your belly
• If you want to have happy, healthy, loving relationships
• If you want to stress less and love life more
• If you want to improve your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health…
Then Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More is exactly the right the book for you—whoever you are, whatever challenges you are facing and however you define health, happiness, and sobriety.
The ideas described in this book apply to anyone who’s trying to control alcohol and inject some purposeful sobriety into their life and work.
Your Caffeine Hit
Think of Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More like a shot of espresso. Sometimes one quick hit is all it takes to get in the mood. But sometimes you need a few shots to sustain your energy. Or maybe you need a bigger motivational hit and then you’re on your way.
You’re in control of what works best for you. Go at your own pace, but resist over-caﬀeinating. A little bit of guidance here and there can do as much to fast-track your success as consuming all the principles in one hit.
Skim to sections that are most relevant to you, and return to familiar ground to reinforce home-truths. But most of all, exercise compassion and enjoy your experience.
Mindful Sobriety: Your Challenge
Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More focuses on strategies to increase your awareness of how and why sobriety is the new cool. When you’re stressed or feeling the urge to drink this knowledge can be one of the first things to go.
You’ll discover ways to increase happiness, reduce stress, minimize anxiety and reclaim joy in the chapters that follow.
You’ll identify common obstacles to success, slay a path through them, and empower your tenacity to persevere with your quest for sober change.
“I love your works to date—provocative and supportive at the same time,” a gentleman who’d read my Mid-Life Career Rescue books wrote to me recently.
To provoke is to incite or stimulate. It’s the reason I’ve included open-ended questions and calls to action in the Sexy Sobriety section at the end of each chapter. The best questions are open, generative ones that don’t allow for ‘yes/no’ answers; rather they encourage you to tap into your higher wisdom, intuition, or go in search of answers.
Dive Deeper With The Sobriety Journal: The Easy Way to Stop Drinking: The Effortless Path to Being Happy, Healthy and Motivated Without Alcohol
Creating a Sobriety Journal was a major aid in my own recovery—you’ll find some excerpts sprinkled throughout Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol, and I’ve written a handy resource to help you create your own.
This guided book leaves you free to create your own bespoke journal tailored to support your needs. Includes, Journal Writing Prompts, Empowering and Inspirational Quotes and Recovery Exercises that can be of use in your daily journal writing, working with your sponsor or use in a recovery group.
Available in print and eBook here—getbook.at/SobrietyJournal
Your Beautiful Mind Workbook
Your Beautiful Mind: Control Alcohol & Love Life More print book will also be available as a workbook, with space to write your responses to the challenges and calls to action within the book.
Stress Less, Love You More & Create a Beautiful, Successful LifeToday!
I am an artist, storyteller, intuitive guide, mentor and Reiki master. All my creations are infused with positive energy , inspiration, and light. I believe in magic and the power of beauty, joy, love, purpose, and creativity to transform your life. My greatest joy is helping your realize your dreams. That makes my soul sing!
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