Self belief is a critical determinant of happiness and success yet sometimes an elusive factor. So many things conspire to weaken our self belief:
criticism from others
self criticism
perfectionism and overly high self standards
lack of focus and discipline
under resourcing - time, money, training
lack of encouragement

all of the above and others took swipe at my self belief recently when I went back to study. Family and friends said I was crazy, classes were over subscribed, money was tight, relationships strained, stress levels high, a horrible group critique that left one student crying, under-funding and indifferent tutors, impatience with lack of skill combined with minimal one to one tutoring eroded the belief I could turn my dream into a reality and made it "easy" for me to throw in the towel.

Passion, skill, and belief all determine success and happiness in life but with no belief you are destined to fail.

What did my recent experience teach me. In my case a large factor was suffering from way too much stress - as you'll see later I really needed to get that under control. Critical self belief boosters also include:
surrounding yourself with people who believe in you
remind yourself of and focus on prior achievements
don't settle for less - ask for your needs to be met
affirm your strengths
recognize areas for development and allow time for talent to develop
perservere in the face of setbacks
find another way around obstacles
get a mentor, coach, or tutor
practise, practise, practise
be positive
allow no doubt - fake it til you make it
fuel your desire - build a strong mental, emotionally evocative picture of your end goal
find role models who succeeded despite the odds
prioritize - don't spread yourself too thin
know when to give up, know when to stay

where to from here for me?
timing is everything. As Thomas Edison once said, " I haven't failed, I've succeeded in finding ways that didn't work".

I still have belief - I'm just clearer about what didn't work:
Being stressed to the max didn't work
juggling study with a new relationship didn't work
juggling two mortgages and finding two new tennants and try and study didn't work
lack of encouragement didnt help
moving between 3 homes and two campuses didn't work
crises with teenager didn't work
studying with savvy 18 year olds in over subscribed classes didn't work
house sitting and minding a dog didn't work
relying on others in group assignments didn't work
working two jobs and running a business didn't work


Gosh! No wonder it didn't work! But when the timing is right it still can. I know I can self study, I know I can apply for entry into year two in Dec. Mostly I know I need to take time to get my mojo back after an extremely stressful two years. And I know I need to take time out to clarify what's truly important and how best to achieve it.

How about you? What do you need to do to boost your self-belief?








waning passion for a career as an architect certainly didn't work

Labels: achieving goals, diary of an architect, Happiness, Motivation, Overcoming setbacks, passion, Powerful Creativity, Powerful thinking, Productivity

I received an update recently from a fabulously talented lady in the States I've been following and I couldn't help but be excited by how similarly we are feeling.

Here's her entry that got me thinking that it's time to stop, rest, dream and plan rather than continue frenetically along the pathS I'm currently on.

"You may have to reinvent your role as a marketer too at some point. It’s not that I’m wishy washy about it - I just have a lot I want to accomplish. I like teaching total newbies what an autoresponder is, or exchanging ideas with other advanced marketers. I like introducing new concepts to people and providing cheap writing via my PLR Mini Mart.

Right now, I have my hands in too many cookie jars - literally and figuratively. So I’ve decided that starting tomorrow and through the month of August, I am going to step back and decide what I want to pursue more heavily. Instead of doing a little PLR, a little info product training, a bit of social networking tutorials - I will decide what makes my heart go kerplunk and follow that dream full steam ahead. I need a drawing board with a plan, Stan! And I’m going to get it.

But I need a clear head for it. This month, I worked my butt off paying off my August bills ahead of time. I know it sounds odd to those without a problem, but I have to spend a lot of time on losing weight, too. It impedes my thought process. I can’t explain it - it just does. I’m happy in every way in life except my weight - and I have 100 pounds to lose. A mountain.

So I am making this next month (starting tomorrow), a period of back to the basics for Tiff. I’m going to wake up each morning, check email to answer customer service questions, etc., and then work on my weight. While I’m exercising, I will be exploring my options, thinking hard about what fulfills me - not just what makes ends meet or allows me to profit more. Right now, I can’t even multi task between weight loss and work. It is exhausting because exercise drains my energy and I need energy to work. I need my head to be clear and focused."

If Tiff can do it - I can do. So effective tonight I'm going to disconnect from technology for a while and do some serious thinking about who I am, who I want to be and how I'm going to get there. Exciting stuff!

So far I've cut myself some slack from my architecture studies - the course is not really what I need and being with 17-18 year olds not the stimulation I need to fuel my passion. So quess what - I quit! That doesn't mean I'm going to give up on my dream. IT just means I'm going to buy myself some time and really look at my options.

Effective tonight I'm baby sitting my mothers dog and her house for a month - so that will be a nice break.

After that....I'll deal with that then

How can you take time out to reflect on who you are and what makes you tick?

Labels: achieving goals, Career Creation, Happiness, Motivation, passion, Powerful thinking

I received this lovely feedback last month - but only just found it in my in-tray:


"Congratulations on being true to yourself and making your dreams become your reality.

I just love reading about people who “walk the talk” – and who are taking big, bold, exciting steps.

It is wonderful.

Warmest wishes for continuing a very successful life….
Liz, Career Consultant, Career Services rapuara

It really made my day - especially as this is day 2 of my course. I'd be lying if I said there weren't times when I thought "oh, my god, what am I doing?" There's even been times when I wanted to quit! So soon, I hear you say! But I'm not quitting, I 'm staying even though all this new learning is blowing my mind, even though assignments are already stockpiling, even though I'm trying to live a balanced life and make room for my partner and his needs, even though as of Thursday I'll be officially homeless (I've rented out the house to fund my studies).

What keeps me there? The share challenge - and the fact that for the first time in my life I am studying my true path with heart - creating healing, sustainable, organic architecture that feeds peoples mind, body and soul:)

I also remind myself how lucky I am to have this opportunity and affirm my courage - over the years I've career counselled many people too frightened, too lazy, too comfortable, or too suppressed to make a change for the better. I hope my journey inspires others:) If i can find a way - you can too!

Labels: achieving goals, diary of an architect, Happiness, Motivation, Overcoming setbacks, passion, Powerful Creativity, Powerful thinking

My daughter fulfilled one of her dreams the other day when she was invited by Dame Malvina Major to sing for her. Hannah was so excited, and so nervous, she nearly fainted! Minutes before she went in to sing for her she heard another girl singing and she rang me in a panic. “She’s singing the same song I was going to – and she sung it perfectly!”

After calming her down I asked for a bit more information and found out that the girl before her was in fact an older woman who was in Dame Malvina’s master class. “Remember how gifted you are, Hannah,” I counseled her, “remind yourself how you received a distinction pass in your Trinity Music exams and also that you are here to learn and have not had any lessons for a year – just sing from your heart and you will be fine.” And she was!

Hannah is lucky – I have always encouraged her dreams and nurtured her natural talent. But many others haven’t. When she was 6 I recall one day, as she was happily rocking in the hammock and singing on the verandah, the little girl next door popped her head out of her window and screeched, “You think you can sing but you can’t.” Hannah burst into tears and stopped singing.

As recently as last month when she told a careers adviser at Canterbury University that she would like to audition for the voice school the woman soberly replied, “Oh you won’t get in, it’s very competitive.” She hadn’t even heard her sing!

As Christopher Gardner said in his book, and later a movie, the Pursuit of Happiness, “You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves they wanna tell you that you can’t do it. You want something? Go get it period.”

Having a dream is an indispensable part of happiness and success.

What his dad called a “pipe dream” led to a life of happiness and a multi-millionaire dollar career for best selling author Wilbur Smith. As a child Wilbur always dreamed of being a writer. But any notions of making a living from writing were nothing but foolish pipe dreams his father cautioned him. " Get a real qualification" boy, was his instruction.

Wilbur dutifully took accountancy at university and resentfully became a tax accountant. But he never lost sight of his dream. He immediately began moonlighting as a short story writer, selling the odd piece of fiction to magazines.

"I'd been told all along, 'you'll never make a living as a writer. Use it as hobby, but you'll never be a Hemmingway or a Steinberg.'"

Then on the strength of an early story, his first novel, When the Lion Feeds, was commissioned. It was written while he was a full-time accountant for Salisbury Inland Revenue. His publisher and later agent, Charles Pick, gave him advice he never forgot: "Write for yourself, and write about what you know best."

"When it was was actually published and people wanted more, I thought, 'I might make a living out of this.'"

Now aged 76, he has sold over 100 million books and written 32 titles.

"If you have a deep need to write then the hunger will remain."


If your dreams could do with a boost this inspirational eBook could be just the motivational kick start you need.

Create Your Dream Job eBook


Do you get discouraged when looking through the situations vacant?
Do you worry that you will never find the perfect job for you?
Would you love to create your dream job but dont know how?
Do you wonder how you can translate your deepest passions into a rewarding career?
Do you feel boxed in and defined by your recent work experience?
Could you do anything if only you knew what it was?

I'll help you clarify and create not just any job but a job you'll love, by:
•Clarifying the things most important to you
•Helping you learn creative, innovative ways to break free of constraints
•Strengthening your intuition
•Increasing your creativity
•Inspiring you
•Helping you identify the job that is right for you

E-book
35 pages of inspirational and practical tips. Includes quizzes, pictures, diagrams, case studies, action tasks and quotes.

Click here to purchase or view sample samples

Labels: achieving goals, Happiness, Motivation, passion

My daughter fulfilled one of her dreams the other day when she was invited by Dame Malvina Major to sing for her. Hannah was so excited, and so nervous, she nearly fainted! Minutes before she went in to sing for her she heard another girl singing and she rang me in a panic. “She’s singing the same song I was going to – and she sung it perfectly!” After calming her down I asked for a bit more information and found out that the girl before her was in fact an older woman who was in Dame Malvina’s master class. “Remember how gifted you are, Hannah,” I counseled her, “remind yourself how you received a distinction pass in your Trinity Music exams and also that you are here to learn and have not had any lessons for a year – just sing from your heart and you will be fine.” And she was!

Hannah is lucky – I have always encouraged her dreams and nurtured her natural talent. But many others haven’t. When she was 6 I recall one day, as she was happily rocking in the hammock and singing on the verandah, the little girl next door popped her head out of her window and screeched, “you think you can sing but you can’t.” Hannah burst into tears and stopped singing.

As recently as last month when she told a careers adviser at Canterbury University that she would like to audition for the voice school the woman soberly replied, “oh you won’t get in, it’s very competitive.” She hadn’t even heard her sing!

As Christopher Gardner said in his book, and later a movie, the Pursuit of Happiness”, “You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves they wanna tell you that you can’t do it. You want something? Go get it period.”

If your dreams could do with a boost the following questions could be just the motivational kick start you need.


Action Questions Pursuing dreams
Write down at least 5 things that come quickly to mind for each of the following questions, then go back and circle the four things that excite you the most. Make a note of the patterns and themes that occur. (For example, they all have to do with taking a risk; or they have to creativity or helping people) Identify steps to help make these dreams your reality.

What would you be doing if you weren’t afraid?

If you were doing what you love how would your life be different? What changes would you make?

Where do your interests and natural talents lie?

What people do you most admire and why?

What secret longings do you have that are lying dormant or tucked away?

In the past what activities have captured your interest and felt most compelling? (This is an indication of your passion at work.)

If you followed the call of your passion where would it take you?

What activities do you love doing?

What energises you?

Write a ‘wish list’ of all the activities you would love to do if anything were possible.

What do you dream about?

Think about someone who has a ” dream job” - . What do they do?

What are you doing when time seems to fly?

What are your hobbies?

If money were no object, what kind of work would you love to do?

As Oprah Winfrey said, “I firmly believe that the universe dreams a bigger dream for you than you can dream for yourself….you’ve got to open yourself to the dream that the universe has for you…you’ve got to discover your true calling.”


Click here if you would like to work with purpose and live your dreams click here

Dream Big

Most people don’t dream big enough. Instead they take the save option or settle for less. Lack of confidence is often to blame and underlying this is an often unspoken expectancy that they won’t achieve their goals. I recall a story about a man who was driving with his wife one day. They were going to the stadium to see a game and were looking for a park. He was horrified when she pulled into a park miles away from the gates. “Why are you parking here? “He cried. “Because I’ll never get a park any closer.” Never mind where you’re parking your car, he later reflected, where are you parking your dreams?

Do you have a positive expectancy or are you settling for less?

Sometimes thinking big means you have to grow into your dreams. If you’re not growing chances are that you are not living either.

When I first started coaching I remember setting a big goal for myself that I wanted to present a workshop at a major international conference. I tapped into my creativity and intuition to help me by asking “How can I find a conference to present at?”

Little coincidences, or what intuitives refer to as synchronicity, started to occur. A newsletter was emailed to me from Australia telling all the people who subscribed to it about an upcoming conference in America. I was really excited and emailed off a proposal. Everyone said I was mad and that there was no way I would get selected to present my Passion Driven Work model of career planning. My business partners in The Passion Pack, who are normally really optimistic, said to me, “Selling passion to the Americans is like selling coal to people in Newcastle!” Still I kept my faith and kept visualising a successful outcome. Then one day the letter came telling me that we had been successful. Then I panicked! It was one thing to dream it; it was quite a different thing to actually have to achieve it! I panicked even more when I heard that Mike and Nigel couldn’t come with me. I felt that without them to support me I was going to be hopeless. I really had to work hard on my confidence to grow into this opportunity, I even considered not going.

But once I committed to my dream I was so pleased at the results. It was a full capacity crowd, I made some fantastic contacts, we sold all the Passion Packs I had taken over and I received a standing ovation. What really made the trip worthwhile was an email from a lady who attended:

“I don’t know who I am emailing…so whoever you are, could you please tell Cassandra Gaisford, that she was the most brilliant, most calming, most truth filled person I heard speak at the ICDC conference in San Francisco. When I heard Cassandra speak I knew she knew what she was talking about. I hate using words like career pathways, school to work, interest inventory etc..etc..It really is as simple as awakening oneself to dreams, passions etc to feel alive and happy.”

For me this was confirmation that when you come from the heart and believe in something with such a passion it inspires others and becomes a reality.


Click here if you would like to work with purpose and live your dreams click here

Labels: achieving goals, Happiness, Motivation, passion

“Without passion, man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark.”
-Henri-Frederic Amiel, Writer

________________________________________

• What makes you spark?
• What inspires you?
• What gives you so much satisfaction or/such a buzz that you would do it for free?
• What role does passion play in your working life?
• How can you convert your deepest passion into a rewarding career?

These are questions many people seeking fulfilling work or changing careers never ask. Discovering and pursuing your passion is a vital component of career satisfaction and success. It is the driving and motivating force that will ignite your special talents and gifts, and gives you both a vehicle and means by which to express your uniqueness. You can not only find the career of your dreams, but can attain the competitive edge to achieve success. When your passions are aligned with your work activities you will be more satisfied, productive, happy and well.

Passions pay cheque
________________________________________
By discovering your passion you will tap into a huge source of potential energy. Pursuing your passion can be profitable on many levels:

• When you do what you love, your true talent will reveal itself; passion can’t be faked.
• You’ll be more enthusiastic about your pursuits.
• You’ll have more energy to overcome obstacles,
• You will be more determined to make things happen.
• You will enjoy your work.
• Your work will become a vehicle for self-expression.
• Passion will give you a competitive edge

Case study: Jane the Visual Merchandiser

Jane wanted to change her profession from a background in retail sales and management to something more creative and hands on and which was less management and sales focused. She was struggling to identify her transferable skills and how her passion for fabric could be combined into a new career. After focusing on all the facets of her passion, including her natural gifts and talents, she successfully transitioned into her dream job. “I have just got the position at Radfords of Visual Merchandiser for their 5 stores. Yippee! I start on Monday, and can't wait. This job is going to enable me to use all those key skills that I have and a huge bonus is that I also get to work with fabrics which is just perfect. I know I came across with confidence and the right attitude thanks to you reminding me that I need to "blow my own trumpet" and allow my passion to shine.”

What is passion?

“Passion is a lot like ‘love’. It is difficult, probably impossible, to define in precise terms, but easy to see and feel when it is present”
- Charles Kovess, Writer

• To be passionate is to be fully alive. Being passionate is a vital part of being human.
• Passion is about emotion, feeling, zest and enthusiasm. Passion is about intensity, fervour, ardour and zeal. Passion is about fire. Passion is about eagerness and preoccupation.
• Passion is about excitement and animation. Passion is about determination and self-belief.
• Passion is about being willing to change. Passion is about following your heart’s desire.
• Passion is about doing something you love.

Passion is not an intellectual thought. It is a feeling, an emotion. Western society tends to value thoughts, reason, logic, and clear thinking more highly than feelings, intuition and soul. Perhaps because of this, people have become de-sensitised to the clues and callings of their own passions.

If it is our desire to be the best that we can be, then the integration of mind, body and spirit is essential. However passion can be difficult to find – and many adults fail to find it altogether. In the absence of any encouragement they give up searching for it, or at least rediscovering it.


Case study: Mary, the journalist

Martha was a disillushioned journalist. She felt trapped in her job because she couldn’t think of anything else she wanted to do. One day she walked into a bookstore and her forgotten passion for colour was reawakened. “Tucked away in the corner of the shop I saw this book on colour. had this most incredibly sensation inside, the same feeling you get when you fall in love. I felt really embarrassed because I couldn’t understand it. I mean it was just a book. For days I ignored it until I knew, really knew that I had to write a book about colour. I’d always loved colour but I was no good at drawing and painting. So I caste it aside. Now I’ve combined my skills as a journalist with my passion for colour.“

Action Question What does passion mean to you? If you were passionate about something what would others notice?

What does passion look like?

“Passionate people exude energy, power, excitement, drive and commitment. Their eyes sparkle, they are fully alive. They have an impact on others. They are the people who often become our leaders, or become the achievers on this planet. They achieve what they want, and most of us talk about them and often envy them. Yet less than 10% of people are visibly pursuing their passion.”
-Charles Kovess, Author.

Every human being is capable of passion. But many people think they are not. This can be because they have narrow ideas of what passion is, or because they think that you have to be really extroverted or do something hugely fantastic to earn the right to say you are passionate. Passion is for everyone – some people just need help taking it out of the drawer.

Some common signs include:

• A burning desire or hunger Mahatma Gandhi had a burning desire or hunger to help his fellow human beings. Gandhi was a passionate man, and his passion enabled him to produce extraordinary results

• A feeling of inspiration

• A feeling in the pit of the stomach If thinking about a particular task, or activity, gives you a “hit” in your stomach with nerves, tingling, pressure, or palpitations, you could be passionate

• A sense of excitement

• A feeling of limitless energy Passionate people do not get easily tired. Their passion feeds them, sustains their body, and overcomes the kind of mental activity that might make a less passionate person feel tired.

• The feeling ”I shouldn’t be paid for this I’m having too much fun.” Many people believe that work, by definition, should be a struggle, and endured – something that can only be enjoyed in exceptional or unusual times. If you are not passionate about your work, then it is hard to see how it could be fun. If you had $10 million in the bank, would you do the work you are doing now? If the answer is “yes”, you are clearly passionate.

• The belief that nothing is too much trouble. Do you have a passion for excellence? Do you have a passion for the outcome?

• A clarity of vision. The quality of the picture in your mind’s eye will demonstrate to you the power of your passion. Passionate people have a spectacularly clear picture of what they want to create, of how the world will be when they have achieved their passion.

• A sense of caring deeply Caring comes from a part of us that is more than body or mind: it is a soul connection, or a heart-to-heart connection. When you care, you have a greater energy, a greater ability to create a greater ability to produce.

Nothing great is the world has been accomplished without passion!

“When it becomes clear that no one else shares your level of passion, you are where you belong.”- Placido Domingo

What's are you passionate about?

You could be passionate about anything! Judge not what you are passionate about. See only if it serves you, given who you are and who you want to be. It could be the simplest of things that excite you and lead you onto a fulfilling career. We spend too much time at work to give up on passion, but some people think that you save the things you like for a hobby or for when you retire. The truth is you are unlikely to find real satisfaction or meaning in your work unless it engages you as a person and delivers some kind of buzz.

Case studies:

Chris Cairns is passionate about cricket, and has carved out a good living as a result. For many years he represented NZ and played cricket at international level.

Graham Books was a researcher who was passionate about potatoes, especially the old Maori varieties. He is still regarded as a world expert in this area and won a significant export contract as a result.

Brian Clifford is passionate about helping people and bugs. He has combined his passion into a successful business as a pest controller. “All the rats, all the maggots, all the cockroaches all over the place. These are the things that I love doing.”

John Holley has turned his passion for bones into a business, Skulls Downunder, selling skeletons to museums all over the world.

Roger Simpson and Murray Langham have turned their love of chocolate and their counselling backgrounds into a philosophy and a successful business. They are chocolate makers, therapists and authors.

What are your buzz factors?


Don't worry if you are struggling to answer some of these questions. Many people have no idea what they are passionate about or how to transfer their deepest passions into a rewarding career. Research consistantly reveals that less than 10% of the population are living their passion.

Cassandra Gaisford (me!)is passion about passion! I have boxes and boxes of clippings and articles of people who are passionate about their work. I didn't choose to be passionate about passion - it chose me! I've made it my life's work to help people find their passion. OVer the last 15 years I've helped thousands of people and organisations find and rekindle thier passion. I've developed tools like the "PassionPack" and unique career and life coaching programmes like the "PassionPoint" and "passion@work" programmes to help make this world a more passionate, happier, joy filled place to live and work.

Stay tuned to this blog if you would like help working with passion and still paying the bills. Visit us at www.worklifesolutions.co.nz or www.passionpod.com to find out about our range of passion tools, 1-1 coaching and other ways we can can help.

“Never deny passion. For that is to deny who you are and who you want to be.”
-Neale Walsch, author

Labels: Career Creation, Happiness, passion