Self belief is a critical determinant of happiness and success yet sometimes an elusive factor. So many things conspire to weaken our self belief:
criticism from others
self criticism
perfectionism and overly high self standards
lack of focus and discipline
under resourcing - time, money, training
lack of encouragement

all of the above and others took swipe at my self belief recently when I went back to study. Family and friends said I was crazy, classes were over subscribed, money was tight, relationships strained, stress levels high, a horrible group critique that left one student crying, under-funding and indifferent tutors, impatience with lack of skill combined with minimal one to one tutoring eroded the belief I could turn my dream into a reality and made it "easy" for me to throw in the towel.

Passion, skill, and belief all determine success and happiness in life but with no belief you are destined to fail.

What did my recent experience teach me. In my case a large factor was suffering from way too much stress - as you'll see later I really needed to get that under control. Critical self belief boosters also include:
surrounding yourself with people who believe in you
remind yourself of and focus on prior achievements
don't settle for less - ask for your needs to be met
affirm your strengths
recognize areas for development and allow time for talent to develop
perservere in the face of setbacks
find another way around obstacles
get a mentor, coach, or tutor
practise, practise, practise
be positive
allow no doubt - fake it til you make it
fuel your desire - build a strong mental, emotionally evocative picture of your end goal
find role models who succeeded despite the odds
prioritize - don't spread yourself too thin
know when to give up, know when to stay

where to from here for me?
timing is everything. As Thomas Edison once said, " I haven't failed, I've succeeded in finding ways that didn't work".

I still have belief - I'm just clearer about what didn't work:
Being stressed to the max didn't work
juggling study with a new relationship didn't work
juggling two mortgages and finding two new tennants and try and study didn't work
lack of encouragement didnt help
moving between 3 homes and two campuses didn't work
crises with teenager didn't work
studying with savvy 18 year olds in over subscribed classes didn't work
house sitting and minding a dog didn't work
relying on others in group assignments didn't work
working two jobs and running a business didn't work


Gosh! No wonder it didn't work! But when the timing is right it still can. I know I can self study, I know I can apply for entry into year two in Dec. Mostly I know I need to take time to get my mojo back after an extremely stressful two years. And I know I need to take time out to clarify what's truly important and how best to achieve it.

How about you? What do you need to do to boost your self-belief?








waning passion for a career as an architect certainly didn't work

Labels: achieving goals, diary of an architect, Happiness, Motivation, Overcoming setbacks, passion, Powerful Creativity, Powerful thinking, Productivity

I'm learning a lot about perseverance this week - week three of my return to study architecture after a gap of 15 years. Technology has surpassed me and kids the same age as my daughter draw like mini Michelangelo's! It's easy too feel less than adequate. During times like this the "easy" option is to quit.

But quitting won't help me achieve my end goal - making a living from creating regenerative architecture... Homes and buildings that improve life.

Quitting won't help me learn what I came to learn or acquire the skills I'm weak in.

So how do I boost my flagging spirits and growing frustration:

cultivate patience - remind myself mastery takes time
practise - related to the above is the fact that mastery takes work. More practise, much more in some areas, is needed

ask for help - head for the experts and ask them to give a little of their time - pay them for coaching and assistance if need be. I did this when I did my Commerce Degree back in 1996 and was struggling with statistics and quantative analysis and it worked a treat

look to mentors - i find architects like John Launter who weren't formerly trained and value skills I have encouraging

delay making a decision - today after an average critique session and mediocre lectures I felt like quitting. I also have my period, am lacking sleep and am generally unsettled - not helped by being away from home and lugging books and materials from campus to campus, house to house. My partner has made me promise not to decide about quitting until after the weekend. He knows I'll feel differently after a rest:)

stress less - keep stress levels at bay by exercising, eating well, resting, time with friends - and time alone!

Have fun - remind myself to enjoy the ride and to be grateful I have this wonderful opportunity:)

Labels: achieving goals, diary of an architect

I received this lovely feedback last month - but only just found it in my in-tray:


"Congratulations on being true to yourself and making your dreams become your reality.

I just love reading about people who “walk the talk” – and who are taking big, bold, exciting steps.

It is wonderful.

Warmest wishes for continuing a very successful life….
Liz, Career Consultant, Career Services rapuara

It really made my day - especially as this is day 2 of my course. I'd be lying if I said there weren't times when I thought "oh, my god, what am I doing?" There's even been times when I wanted to quit! So soon, I hear you say! But I'm not quitting, I 'm staying even though all this new learning is blowing my mind, even though assignments are already stockpiling, even though I'm trying to live a balanced life and make room for my partner and his needs, even though as of Thursday I'll be officially homeless (I've rented out the house to fund my studies).

What keeps me there? The share challenge - and the fact that for the first time in my life I am studying my true path with heart - creating healing, sustainable, organic architecture that feeds peoples mind, body and soul:)

I also remind myself how lucky I am to have this opportunity and affirm my courage - over the years I've career counselled many people too frightened, too lazy, too comfortable, or too suppressed to make a change for the better. I hope my journey inspires others:) If i can find a way - you can too!

Labels: achieving goals, diary of an architect, Happiness, Motivation, Overcoming setbacks, passion, Powerful Creativity, Powerful thinking

This will be "home" for the next 3 + years - the architecture studio at Victoria University. Lucky for me my previous study has been recognised so I don;t start until June this year. So I'm making the most of some outdoors time and engaging in creative play at my rural retreat.

You can follow my own transformational journey as I morph into an architect here. It is a dream and passion I have held for years and now it’s finally coming true! Maybe folliowing my own courageous journey will inspire you.


If you could do with a courage boost you'll benefit from my new eBook Boosting Courage - The Competitive Edge


Boosting Courage - The Competitive Edge is based on the practical and proven techniques that we use when consulting with clients on a one-to-one basis. Discover how you too can overcome barriers, boost your confidence and be more successful. .
.
The strategies in this workbook will teach you how to:
• Understand the psychology of fear
• Reprogram your mind for success
• Identify and successfully overcome common fears
• Minimise the risk of things going wrong by helping you make informed decisions
• Dress for success and stay calm under pressure
• Feel the fear and do it anyway
• Fulfill your potential

Download a free sample and purchase here


Fulfill your potential and live your dreams today!

Labels: diary of an architect, Powerful Creativity