Self belief is a critical determinant of happiness and success yet sometimes an elusive factor. So many things conspire to weaken our self belief:
criticism from others
self criticism
perfectionism and overly high self standards
lack of focus and discipline
under resourcing - time, money, training
lack of encouragement

all of the above and others took swipe at my self belief recently when I went back to study. Family and friends said I was crazy, classes were over subscribed, money was tight, relationships strained, stress levels high, a horrible group critique that left one student crying, under-funding and indifferent tutors, impatience with lack of skill combined with minimal one to one tutoring eroded the belief I could turn my dream into a reality and made it "easy" for me to throw in the towel.

Passion, skill, and belief all determine success and happiness in life but with no belief you are destined to fail.

What did my recent experience teach me. In my case a large factor was suffering from way too much stress - as you'll see later I really needed to get that under control. Critical self belief boosters also include:
surrounding yourself with people who believe in you
remind yourself of and focus on prior achievements
don't settle for less - ask for your needs to be met
affirm your strengths
recognize areas for development and allow time for talent to develop
perservere in the face of setbacks
find another way around obstacles
get a mentor, coach, or tutor
practise, practise, practise
be positive
allow no doubt - fake it til you make it
fuel your desire - build a strong mental, emotionally evocative picture of your end goal
find role models who succeeded despite the odds
prioritize - don't spread yourself too thin
know when to give up, know when to stay

where to from here for me?
timing is everything. As Thomas Edison once said, " I haven't failed, I've succeeded in finding ways that didn't work".

I still have belief - I'm just clearer about what didn't work:
Being stressed to the max didn't work
juggling study with a new relationship didn't work
juggling two mortgages and finding two new tennants and try and study didn't work
lack of encouragement didnt help
moving between 3 homes and two campuses didn't work
crises with teenager didn't work
studying with savvy 18 year olds in over subscribed classes didn't work
house sitting and minding a dog didn't work
relying on others in group assignments didn't work
working two jobs and running a business didn't work


Gosh! No wonder it didn't work! But when the timing is right it still can. I know I can self study, I know I can apply for entry into year two in Dec. Mostly I know I need to take time to get my mojo back after an extremely stressful two years. And I know I need to take time out to clarify what's truly important and how best to achieve it.

How about you? What do you need to do to boost your self-belief?








waning passion for a career as an architect certainly didn't work

Labels: achieving goals, diary of an architect, Happiness, Motivation, Overcoming setbacks, passion, Powerful Creativity, Powerful thinking, Productivity

I just received an email from a friend saying her heart was healing nicely. Time heals all wounds they say....thinking of my broken toe here! Bet the same goes for the heart - like the toe: rest, don't put any pressure on it, expect it to take time, once repaired the break is much, much stronger than before!

So what does all the above have to do with being happy@work? Relationship strain is one of the primary reasons so many people are unhappy@work. Enlightened folks in many companies offer free relationship counselling for this very reason. Innovative companies take this one step further and actively sponsor membership to dating sites to help staff partner up!

Research suggests that people in happy relationships are more successful than those that aren't. Of course the same goes for those who avoid unhappy relationships and fly solo.

However, people benefit from being in a healthy relationship because they have someone to:
Encourage them to take risks or perservere
Boost flagging confidence
Coach and counsel them through challenges
Help them maintain perspective
Maintain healthy work-life balance
Enable them to pursue their dreams by financially support them
Share any financial strain or other challenges that may impact on work performance - family dramas and issues with teens is one area that instantly comes to mind

Labels: Health, Motivation, Productivity

I recently presented a seminar to the Institute of Company Secretaries, the members of which, are made up of accountants, lawyers and other professional people who manage staff. Of special interest were my insights into the issue of productivity, happiness and leadership.
Key points from an interview I gave to the The Dominion Post Feb 6, 2008

1. Management, or lack of it, may be driving down New Zealand’s productivity
2 .Surveys consistently show at least 43% of people are unhappy at work. The Worklife Solutions survey showed that 69% of people couldn’t find any point in what they do (lack of purpose, meaning – no clear direction)
3. Aging workforce – mature workers looking for more from work than just a paycheck – many employers still using old Taylorist Scientific Management pay packet theory of motivation “we pay them don’t we”
4.Senior people often not highly motivated to coaching and mentor staff “rated somewhere down the list like cleaning the dunny” Senior people often promoted into roles because of technical skills – softer people skills, communication skills and EQ lacking

Labels: Book Launch, Productivity