Self belief is a critical determinant of happiness and success yet sometimes an elusive factor. So many things conspire to weaken our self belief:
criticism from others
self criticism
perfectionism and overly high self standards
lack of focus and discipline
under resourcing - time, money, training
lack of encouragement

all of the above and others took swipe at my self belief recently when I went back to study. Family and friends said I was crazy, classes were over subscribed, money was tight, relationships strained, stress levels high, a horrible group critique that left one student crying, under-funding and indifferent tutors, impatience with lack of skill combined with minimal one to one tutoring eroded the belief I could turn my dream into a reality and made it "easy" for me to throw in the towel.

Passion, skill, and belief all determine success and happiness in life but with no belief you are destined to fail.

What did my recent experience teach me. In my case a large factor was suffering from way too much stress - as you'll see later I really needed to get that under control. Critical self belief boosters also include:
surrounding yourself with people who believe in you
remind yourself of and focus on prior achievements
don't settle for less - ask for your needs to be met
affirm your strengths
recognize areas for development and allow time for talent to develop
perservere in the face of setbacks
find another way around obstacles
get a mentor, coach, or tutor
practise, practise, practise
be positive
allow no doubt - fake it til you make it
fuel your desire - build a strong mental, emotionally evocative picture of your end goal
find role models who succeeded despite the odds
prioritize - don't spread yourself too thin
know when to give up, know when to stay

where to from here for me?
timing is everything. As Thomas Edison once said, " I haven't failed, I've succeeded in finding ways that didn't work".

I still have belief - I'm just clearer about what didn't work:
Being stressed to the max didn't work
juggling study with a new relationship didn't work
juggling two mortgages and finding two new tennants and try and study didn't work
lack of encouragement didnt help
moving between 3 homes and two campuses didn't work
crises with teenager didn't work
studying with savvy 18 year olds in over subscribed classes didn't work
house sitting and minding a dog didn't work
relying on others in group assignments didn't work
working two jobs and running a business didn't work


Gosh! No wonder it didn't work! But when the timing is right it still can. I know I can self study, I know I can apply for entry into year two in Dec. Mostly I know I need to take time to get my mojo back after an extremely stressful two years. And I know I need to take time out to clarify what's truly important and how best to achieve it.

How about you? What do you need to do to boost your self-belief?








waning passion for a career as an architect certainly didn't work

Labels: achieving goals, diary of an architect, Happiness, Motivation, Overcoming setbacks, passion, Powerful Creativity, Powerful thinking, Productivity

I received this lovely feedback last month - but only just found it in my in-tray:


"Congratulations on being true to yourself and making your dreams become your reality.

I just love reading about people who “walk the talk” – and who are taking big, bold, exciting steps.

It is wonderful.

Warmest wishes for continuing a very successful life….
Liz, Career Consultant, Career Services rapuara

It really made my day - especially as this is day 2 of my course. I'd be lying if I said there weren't times when I thought "oh, my god, what am I doing?" There's even been times when I wanted to quit! So soon, I hear you say! But I'm not quitting, I 'm staying even though all this new learning is blowing my mind, even though assignments are already stockpiling, even though I'm trying to live a balanced life and make room for my partner and his needs, even though as of Thursday I'll be officially homeless (I've rented out the house to fund my studies).

What keeps me there? The share challenge - and the fact that for the first time in my life I am studying my true path with heart - creating healing, sustainable, organic architecture that feeds peoples mind, body and soul:)

I also remind myself how lucky I am to have this opportunity and affirm my courage - over the years I've career counselled many people too frightened, too lazy, too comfortable, or too suppressed to make a change for the better. I hope my journey inspires others:) If i can find a way - you can too!

Labels: achieving goals, diary of an architect, Happiness, Motivation, Overcoming setbacks, passion, Powerful Creativity, Powerful thinking

People often ask me, "How do you manage to stay so happy at work. What's your secret?"

Surrounding myself with inspiration is a central and constant theme.

Last night I went along to see my good friend and acclaimed NZ artist Max Gimblett. He is in NZ fresh from his successful showing at the Guggenheim in New York. Marcia and James of PaigeBlackie Gallery hosted a simply divine evening where myself and a few select clients and followers of Max's work and life dined in the gallery surrounded by his new work.

Just look how colourful this particular one is! The amazing thing is that it goes with my new ColourGirl logo perfectly.



What a night of coincidences it was - just look how my friend Laurie, and Max, unconsciously matched their outfits. Can you believe that this is the first time they met! I noticed Max's shoes immediately. Aren't they gorgeous!

Max had a similar pair custom made for the Guggenheim show. "I thought, I'm going to have make a stand amongst all these well established artists, so I wore a pair of silver shoes, and was instantly noticed." he laughed.

Laurie and I definitely stood out in the gallery that night - every single other guest, apart from co-owner Marcia, was dressed head to toe in black.

Of course nothing compared to the mesmerising beauty of Max Gimblett's work.

Be sure to get along to the PaigeBlackie Gallery

Max's show White Stone Clear Water is on show 19 May until 20 June.

As you may know, Max Gimblett wrote the foreword to my book "Happy@work: job hunting for mid-lifer's +" The timing couldn't be better - another international publisher has expressed interest in helping me take the book to the world!

Click here to learn more about this exciting new development.

Labels: Career Creation, Motivation, Powerful Creativity, The Book

This will be "home" for the next 3 + years - the architecture studio at Victoria University. Lucky for me my previous study has been recognised so I don;t start until June this year. So I'm making the most of some outdoors time and engaging in creative play at my rural retreat.

You can follow my own transformational journey as I morph into an architect here. It is a dream and passion I have held for years and now it’s finally coming true! Maybe folliowing my own courageous journey will inspire you.


If you could do with a courage boost you'll benefit from my new eBook Boosting Courage - The Competitive Edge


Boosting Courage - The Competitive Edge is based on the practical and proven techniques that we use when consulting with clients on a one-to-one basis. Discover how you too can overcome barriers, boost your confidence and be more successful. .
.
The strategies in this workbook will teach you how to:
• Understand the psychology of fear
• Reprogram your mind for success
• Identify and successfully overcome common fears
• Minimise the risk of things going wrong by helping you make informed decisions
• Dress for success and stay calm under pressure
• Feel the fear and do it anyway
• Fulfill your potential

Download a free sample and purchase here


Fulfill your potential and live your dreams today!

Labels: diary of an architect, Powerful Creativity

"We are suffering from an epidemic of overthinking—caught in torrents of negative thoughts and emotions that overwhelm us and interfere with our functioning and well-being." Nolen-Hoeksema, professor of psychology at the University of Michigan

I recently received an email from a client asking me how she could stop over analysing everything. Her specific challenge to me was " How can Petra let her spirit run more freer? (and less dominated by the rational side of her)".

Rather than spend too much time thinking about this myself I did a brain purge - listing all the possible ways she could free her mind and let her spirit soar. "Just whatever comes up for you intuitively would be lovely!" she said. What an ideal client! I love to work intuitively. Little does she know that I am a recovering over-thinker myself. Still as they say, we learn best what we need to teach."

Here's my intuitive response:

Stop over thinking!

•MeditateNumerous studies have documented the health benefits of meditating daily. Increased creativity, clearer thinking, minimised stress and anxiety are just some of the many benefits. I learned the Transcendental Meditation technique over 13 years ago and have never looked back. See the resource section below

• Wear more colourful and flowing clothes. So many people's spirits are straitjacketed in tight, tailored, black suits. Woman especially seem to have lost their femininity at work

•Be silly, reckless, and childlike. Learn to adopt the spontaneous, playful curiosity of children. Spend time at a play centre, hang out with nieces and nephews if you have forgotten how and copy-cat your way to playfulness.

•Do at least one FTE a day - First Time Experience. This may be little like going down a street you have never been down before, or bigger like make an impulsive purchase or asking a complete stranger to dance!

•Have massages regularly to loosen up. It's hard to let your spirit soar if your body is tied up in knots.

•Take up dance - let your body move. Movement frees up tension and energises our minds and spirits. Take up a class or dance to your own music at home. Really let yourself go.

•Ensure your home and work environment reflect the way you want to feel. While studying interior architecture several years ago I came across a wonderful book, "the house is a reflection of self." This resonated with me. Look around your own home. Do the colours, shapes, textures, furnishings reflect the way you wan to feel? How can you create more spontaneity, intuition, creativity?

•Learn to say no. Taking on too much responsibility can cripple creativity. Learn to say no and delegate where ever possible. Practice creative procrastination - put off until tomorrow that which won't advance your life today.


•Monitor your words and thoughts. - "Must's, should's, have to's, can'ts, if's", are restricting words. Proactively weed them out and feed with "want to's" and more decisive, knowing words.

• See your freedom. Get a photo of you when you were most free - place it where you can see it everyday

•Affirm for what you want. Repeat, "I am a free spirit" or " everyday my spirit is feeling freer and freer" to programme your mind for success.

•Take regular holidays. Taking time out is a great tonic for the over-wrought soul

•Take up a creative hobby – painting, photography, creative writing, poetry, singing

•Set a freedom goal – make a project of it. Replace the word "goal" with " desire" to experience all the benefits shifting from over analysing everything will manifest

•Aromatherapy – smell freedom! Scents from essential oils like mandarin, orange and Ylang Ylang can alter brain chemistry and free up restrictive, analytical thinking. Pick up an aromatherapy book and find the scent that's right for you

•“Plan a day” where there is no plan – allow your soul to guide you. This reminds me of a very uptight friend of mine who turned up one day looking uncharacteristically untidy, "We're having a playful day" she proudly said.

•Take a load off your feet - Go gliding or soak in a flotation tank (a light-and sound-proof tank filled with water) like NZ Portrait artist Mark Olsen

•Free your working week. Create some more variety and freedom in your day. Cut down your work hours/times where you have to be available to others– so you can drive your time how you like

• Copy your way to freedom. Think of your least rational friend – copycat, ask them for tips, etc

•Leverage off your strengths. Make less rationality a research project – use your rational side to help you. Another rational solution is to complete a force field analysis:1. List all the forces against/things that constrain your spirit - if not "free" then what? "trapped"?? 2. Now list all the forces for a more free-er sense of self. 3. Now identify ways to maximise forces for, ways to minimse forces against 4. Develop an action plan

• Tap into the spiritual realm - Visit a psychic and have an intuitive, spiritual reading

• Trust yourself - make failure your friend. The fear of failure is one of the primary reasons people spend so much time over-thinking. Set a time limit on thinking and decide when enough is enough then commit to action. If it doesn't work out this time at least you'll know what not to do next time.

and not last, and not least....

•Trust your gut! As Einstein once said, "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." Listen to life’s whispers and act on your intuition. Intuitively I always “knew” I could build a house on the back of my section. Rationally I had no idea how!
Allow your intuition to guide you to the higher ground as Oprah does, "My business skills have come from being guided by my higher self or my intuition. I am who I am today because of... intuition, my ability to feel what is right for me and allowing that to be the strongest guide in my life. Intuition is akin to God. It is akin to being led by that which is greater than yourself. My intuition, my intention and my passion have allowed me to be who I am and will take me to higher ground..."
Everyone is intuitive – many of us have just forgotten how to listen. Listen to and strengthen your intuition – keep an intuition journal by noting all the times your intuition speaks to you.

Helpful resources:

Learn to meditate - read benefits and find out about classes

Women Who Think Too Much: How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life" -
Read the article here

Labels: achieving goals, Career Creation, Happiness, Health, Intuition, Motivation, Powerful Creativity, Powerful thinking

My dear friend Cho Chan came in the Joy'ance exhibition today and we got talking over art about my book. Well! Guess what? Cho is thinking about making a dramatic career change. He is so excited about the book that he insisted he pay for it now! That's great....because it means now I am under even more pressure - good pressure - to finish. Not just for Cho (who I now owe money to!!) but for people who have ordered copies before it is published. Gosh at this rate I may run out of copies before I have even got to the print shop!

Let me know if you would like to order now too!

Labels: Motivation, Powerful Creativity, Powerful thinking, The Book

As promised I am keeping you posted with Happy@work updates. I am very happy working on the book:" Happy@work:job hunting for mid-lifers" because I am surrounded by the most amazing art, joyfully created by my wonderful friends.

I think having a office like this is incredible and it definetly helps get my creative juices going!


Today, as I mind the gallery for our collective art exhibition "joy'ance" I am working on the final edits for Part 6 - the section of the book that deals with the important strategies for success.

Finding a job that makes you happy isn’t always easy. If it was, more people would be working in jobs they love. The exercises in “Strategies For Success” will help you identify and overcome any obstacles between you and your goal. Maintaining a positive expectancy, and having a success action plan, will help you successfully navigate your way toward your preferred future.

In this section of the book, I’ll help you:
• Identify possible constraints and develop a positive mindset to overcome them
• Overcome ageism and turn maturity into an asset
• Challenge your fears
• Identify ways to beat any skills gaps
• Beat the money blues and finance your career
• Whip procrastination into shape and stay on track
• Cope with change and uncertainty effectively.

This section is divided into 7 sections headed:

*Overcoming obstacles
*Turning age into an asset
*Employment Strategies for Fifty Somethings
*Challenge your Fears
*Finance Your Career
*Staying on Track
*Transitions are a time of renewal

By tomorrow I hope to have all the section edited, proofed and finished. Then it will be onto Section 7. Wrapping it all up
In this section you will create:
Your happy@work profile
Your Vision for the future
Your unique passion point

Creating these things will help you consolidate all that you have learnt and prepare a concrete and inspiring plan of action.

My amazing reviewer!
Yesterday I received great news from my dear friend, published author and super talented Business Psychologist Jasbindar Singh that she would love: to be a reviewer of my book. That is so fabulous. I can't wait for her feedback.

Labels: Motivation, Powerful Creativity, Powerful thinking, The Book

Yesterday I received a lovely email from Wendy - a lady in Nelson who was the very first person in the world to ever put in an order for the book. Wendy has given me permission to share our correspondence:

"Hi Cassandra
Quite a while ago I placed an order for your book that was due to be published. Can you give me an idea of how far away it is as I have presented a ‘preview’ of the book at one of our AAPNZ, Nelson group meetings and quite a few members are asking me about it."

Here's what I replied:

"Thank you so much for your email and for your active pre-promotion of my book. Wow! I am amazed and very grateful to you for drumming up so much interest.

To be honest I was stalled a bit by the New York agent that took the near completed draft to America and asked me to stop working on it while she talked to publishers.

This agent felt that because I had put so much time into the design of the book she felt that publishers would think I was a control freak and therefore would be difficult to deal with.

I was really surprised by this comment. The design and visual elements of the book are what makes Happy@work so different from anything on the market. It is true that I would hate for "Happy@work: job hunting for mid-lifers" to be reduced to pages and pages of black and white text but I would "bow" to the publishers if I had to -assuming they know best.

Anyway this agent promised the world and delivered nothing - I pushed the publishing date back waiting for her. But now I am back on track and aim to have it finished before my birthday at the end of the month - that would make it a lovely way to celebrate both my birthday and the birth of the book. Can your members wait with me until then?"


Not only are Wendy's members happy to wait but Wendy has also agreed to review the final copy. Wendy has asked for a time line from me :) This is terrific...being accountable in the nicest possible way will motitivate me even more!"


I will be publishing regular updates on The Happy@work blog. Please left me comments to help keep me going...I would love that

Labels: Motivation, Powerful Creativity, Powerful thinking, The Book