It’s the messages you tell yourself that matter most, says celebrity hypnotherapist and author, Marisa Peers. “Belief without talent will get you further than talent with no belief. If you have the two you will be unstoppable.”
Coco Chanel believed from a very early age that the door to her freedom and self respect lay in securing and maintaining her independence.
She also believed in the power of being loved as a woman. She had no desire to be a man—only to be loved by them. “A woman who is not loved is no woman”, she once said.
Many people mistakenly sacrifice their relationships in pursuit of successful careers. Unhelpful beliefs, including, “You can’t have it all” or, “You can’t have a relationship and be successful,” may partly be to blame.
You may not be aware of your own self-limiting beliefs and patterns, or the negative, confining impact of others’ beliefs about what you should be doing with your life. Perhaps you’ve defined your life according to what others think you are capable of, or believe you should settle for.
Even when the answers are clear you may resist the changes needed to achieve more happiness and passion in your work or personal life. Fear often lies at the heart of this reluctance or resistance.
Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and survivor of the Nazi concentration camps, believes that the cause of people’s fear is a basic and crippling lack of faith about themselves and their capacity to make positive and successful changes.
To get at some of the core beliefs standing between you and the success you desire ask yourself, “I’ll do anything to achieve (insert goal/dream) just don’t ask me to do that (insert the fear or belief that holds you back.)
Acknowledge the things you don’t believe and challenge them. Interview your beliefs, by asking them the following questions.
- “Where’s your evidence for that?” (That being what ever you fear or hold to be true?)
- “What’s the worst that could happen if you pursued your passion? How bad would that really be? How can you increase the likelihood of success?”
- “What tells you that you could follow your dreams?” (a nice shift from focusing on the problem, to looking for solutions instead).
- “What have you tried recently that worked? What you are you doing now that works?”
- “Who do you know that is happy at work? What could you learn from them?”
- “How does your (supportive other) know you can do this? What difference will it make to them when you are happier?”
You’ll find other helpful strategies to challenge self-limiting beliefs in my book, Boost Your Self-Esteem and Confidence: Six Easy Steps to Increase Self-Confidence, Self-esteem, Self-Value and Love Yourself More.
I’ve also included a helpful section in my book, Mid-Life Career Rescue: What Makes You Happy. In this book I share my experience following reading, The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter & Miracles, by Dr. Bruce Lipton.
So often we aren’t even aware of what our self-limiting beliefs are. If your beliefs are ingrained, or you keep sabotaging your own success, seeking help from a qualified practitioner with expertise in reprogramming stubborn, disempowering beliefs may be a game-changer.
Chances are you don’t need to see a therapist to move beyond self-limiting beliefs, but if you do, great. Go do it. There’s magic in that.
You can also learn from some of the most powerful, effective and simple techniques used by practitioners working in the realm of positive psychology and mind reprogramming—including hypnosis
I told my audience that if they changed their beliefs they could change their lives ~ Dr. Bruce Lipton, cell biologist
This is an edited extract from The Art of Success: How Extraordinary Artists Can Help You Succeed in Business and Life (Book Two: Coco Chanel) by Cassandra Gaisford. To order a copy for less than the price of coffee and cake click here to go to your online bookshop.