Happy at Work

When life turns to custard - thriving in the face of setbacks

2009-08-11T19:29:00.000-07:00

Please note we have moved! All future blog posts will be available at http://areyouhappyatwork.wordpress.com/ Hope to see you there!

As the famous and enduring rock legends, The Rolling Stones, so often sing, “You don’t always get what you want, but you might just find that you get what you need.” These words especially ring true when it comes to periods of change. Change is hard enough, but can seem even more overwhelming when the things changing are out of your control.

When change is thrust upon people, expected and often unwanted – like losing a job, financial blow outs, or relationship bust-ups - it’s pretty hard to stay positive and calm in the face of calamity.

But as Viktor Frankl, Austrian Psychiatrist and survivor of the worst horrors imaginable during his imprisonment in various concentration camps said, you may not be able to choose the circumstances of your life, but the one thing no man can ever take from you is your attitude. “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." - Man's Search for Meaning

Sometimes, according to Frankl, disasters, setbacks and disappointments are gifts waiting to be revealed. In other words, we can choose to find meaning and purpose and even divine guidance in tragedy.Viktor’s experiences and compassion for his fellow human beings led him to work at ways to help people maintain their will to live. After his release he became world famous for developing “meaning therapy,” a valuable therapy technique he perfected during his time in the concentration camps. (See the reading list at the end of this newsletter to find out more about his technique and his amazing and powerful story.)

Many other people have similar stories where what at the time looked like the end of the world, turned out to be an experience that steered them in a more positive direction - in some cases turning out to be the best thing that ever happened.

As one client told me recently, "If all those men hadn’t dumped me I would never have met my husband. I would have settled for less, and I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I’d be someone else. Someone less."

If Viktor Frankl, can find meaning and purpose in his unimaginable suffering, then I'm positive we all can too.

I hope you find some helpful tips to help you and those you care about stay calm in the face of calamity and find meaning, purpose, love and inspiration in all that awaits.

Inspirational quotes
“We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking, only to learn that it is God who is shaking them.” Unknown

“One doesn’t have to be holy and healed to experience divine guidance. In fact, such guidance often comes as a result of pain and problems. When things are coasting along smoothly we don’t need guidance. The sudden flashes of intuition and dreams we have in our darkest hours, however, are capable of renewing our lives, changing our course, and mending our broken spirit’ - Joan Borysenko, Harvard medical scientist and psychologist

“Our doubts are our traitors” - Shakespeare, Author

“One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.” Anon

“Faith is the bird that sings while the dawn is still dark” - Anon

“We must be the change we want to see.” - Gandhi, Politician

“Organs evolve in response to necessity. Therefore increase you necessity.” - Jalad-ad-din-ai Rumni,13 century mystic

“You cannot polish a gem without friction nor a person without experiences” - Anon

“To be enthusiastic act enthusiastically – act as though you cannot fail” -Anon

Practical strategies to stay calm in the face of calamity:

Listed below are some successful strategies that many people have found helped them build and sustain resilience during setbacks and time of uncertainty. What works best for you will depend on your personal situation circumstances. I hope you find a few handy reminders that you can use and pass on to others in need.

Put a time limit on negativity. It is important to acknowledge how you feel, however, dwelling in negativity for too long is like a record stuck in a groove. You end up in the same place, and making a terrible mess, instead of going with the flow of life and making sweet music. Make a choice about how you want to feel, and start to work towards it.

Meditate! Control your thoughts - control your destiny. Lean to meditate and practice this daily. Recent research published in New Scientist, has revealed that meditation can help to calm people and reduce fear. The research found that regular meditation can tame the amygdala, an area of the brain which is the hub of fear memory. People who meditate regularly are less likely to be shocked, flustered, surprised or as angry as other people and therefore have a greater stress tolerance threshold as a result.

Research also proves that people who meditate regularly suffer less from anxiety and have increased energy, creativity and self-control. By meditating regularly, the brain is reoriented from a stressful fight-or¬-flight response to one of acceptance, a shift that increases contentment, enthusiasm, and feelings of happiness. Make meditating for at least 20 minutes a day part of your daily routine for optimum success and well-being.

Bibliotherapy - Read Read! Read! Immerse yourself in books which inspire and motivate. Tune out negative news and bad events and tune into positive news and information.

Keep your dreams alive. Look at the big picture and the life you really desire. Don’t let present day worries rob you of your passion and enthusiasm for your dreams. Do something everyday to help make your dreams a reality. As Winston Churchill, once said when asked to give his formula for success, “I can summarise the major lessons of my life in seven words: never give up, never, never give up”.

Get inspired! Start an image board with things you want accomplish or achieve. Look at it daily. Believe they will happen - tick them off as they do. Surround yourself with inspirational people who believe in you and do something you love!

Be your biggest fan. Practice positive self talk. Under times of stress, or if you're a pessimist by nature, you're likely to spend a lot of time with negative self-talk. "I can't do this." "Nothing works out for me." Or, "I’m not a very confident person," are all common examples. Whatever situation you are facing pay attention to what you're telling yourself. All the above statements are all examples of really crippling affirmations Talk and affirm the positive instead. It will make a dramatic difference in how you feel. Make a conscious attempt to shift the focus on any pessimistic thoughts. Try saying things to yourself like, "I know I'll get through this." "What could I do today to stay relaxed?" "There are many things I do well and today I'll stay focused on those." “I’m a capable, confident person”

Get outside! True happiness comes from being outside. Just like plants, we need at least 20 minutes of sunlight every day just to restore our hormones to normal levels. Medical research suggests some people need as much as two hours a day of sunlight to avoid seasonal affective disorder. Walking outside can also help you gain a new perspective on a troubling situation. When you go outside and take a walk, you increase the electrical activity in your brain, you breathe negative ions and see in three dimensions. With time alone engaging the whole brain, you have an opportunity to process things that are troubling you and to see things more objectively, sometimes the solution is quite simple. Tap into the healing power of the great outdoors by walking near the sea or natural bush.

Be grateful! Celebrate what you do have. Sometimes it can be so easy to focus on what you don’t have that you forget to acknowledge all the things that you have in your life. For example good, health, a loving partner, freedom to do what you have supportive friends, a roof over your head, someone who loves you, a good education, living in a peaceful part of the world, experiences you’ve had, all the things that are good about you and that others appreciate etc.

Rewind! Reflect back on previous crises - remember the positive changes which occurred as a result. Trust this will happen again. Keep a silver linings journal. Divide the pages in half. On one side record the thing that’s upset you and on the other side, the opportunity that could come of it. You may find you have to add this part later – sometimes the silver lining takes a wee while to be revealed.

Invest in colour. Surround yourself with colours and scents which reflect the way you want to feel and be. Many people love yellow when they are sad. Vincent Van Gogh, who suffered from depression, often painted in yellow – yellow skies, yellow grass, and yellow houses. Yellow! Choose a colour that that makes you feel fabulous!

Look for opportunities in any climate. So many people contact me in despair when life as they knew it takes a turn for the worst. I've had my fair share of setbacks and personal experience combined with years of helpign people professionally, has taught me about the value of looking for silver linings during times of near calamity.

Carterton grandmother Jeanne Taylor's world collapsed when her job of 39 years was taken away, but now the company that failed is giving her a new lease on life. Mrs Taylor, 61, is going to make an offer to purchase two sewing machines so she can start up her own business. Jeanne’s doing what more and more people are doing in the wake of limited job security – she’s employing herself. “I’m setting up a small private business, a bit of a sideline to generate some extra income by doing clothing alterations,” she says in a recent Dominion Post interview (12 August 2009, Tanya Katterns) “At least after all the heartache this financial collapse has caused, we may be able to get something out of the ruins to make a difference for ourselves.”

Take control of your career and your life and employ yourself. Click here to learn how.

Publication day looming

2009-08-06T00:07:00.000-07:00

I ve had so many enquiries from people itching to know when the Happy@work book is coming out. I've even got a television interview lined up! I ve hated keeping everyone waiting so long especially when so many people are out of work or stuck in jobs they hate. My prospective publishers have been swamped with prechristmas deadlines and have promised a decision by the end of the week.

The timing couldn't be better! The global economy is showing signs of improvement and confidence is slowly returning. I'm having a re read of the book and can honestly say I'm loving it! It's an upbeat, inspiring, practical read and is really helping me personally as i crystallize my future career and life direction.

I believe in the power of this book with such a passion I know it's going to be a reality. Bring it on!

Thanks to all my followers who have pre ordered and to all the people I have coached over the years who have shared their transformational stories. If you haven't pre ordered I'd love your support:) plus stayed tuned to www.cassandragaisford.com for new happy@work interviews... Coming soon... From economics professor to tango teacher!

Believe in yourself and success will flow

2009-08-05T06:51:00.000-07:00

Self belief is a critical determinant of happiness and success yet sometimes an elusive factor. So many things conspire to weaken our self belief:
criticism from others
self criticism
perfectionism and overly high self standards
lack of focus and discipline
under resourcing - time, money, training
lack of encouragement

all of the above and others took swipe at my self belief recently when I went back to study. Family and friends said I was crazy, classes were over subscribed, money was tight, relationships strained, stress levels high, a horrible group critique that left one student crying, under-funding and indifferent tutors, impatience with lack of skill combined with minimal one to one tutoring eroded the belief I could turn my dream into a reality and made it "easy" for me to throw in the towel.

Passion, skill, and belief all determine success and happiness in life but with no belief you are destined to fail.

What did my recent experience teach me. In my case a large factor was suffering from way too much stress - as you'll see later I really needed to get that under control. Critical self belief boosters also include:
surrounding yourself with people who believe in you
remind yourself of and focus on prior achievements
don't settle for less - ask for your needs to be met
affirm your strengths
recognize areas for development and allow time for talent to develop
perservere in the face of setbacks
find another way around obstacles
get a mentor, coach, or tutor
practise, practise, practise
be positive
allow no doubt - fake it til you make it
fuel your desire - build a strong mental, emotionally evocative picture of your end goal
find role models who succeeded despite the odds
prioritize - don't spread yourself too thin
know when to give up, know when to stay

where to from here for me?
timing is everything. As Thomas Edison once said, " I haven't failed, I've succeeded in finding ways that didn't work".

I still have belief - I'm just clearer about what didn't work:
Being stressed to the max didn't work
juggling study with a new relationship didn't work
juggling two mortgages and finding two new tennants and try and study didn't work
lack of encouragement didnt help
moving between 3 homes and two campuses didn't work
crises with teenager didn't work
studying with savvy 18 year olds in over subscribed classes didn't work
house sitting and minding a dog didn't work
relying on others in group assignments didn't work
working two jobs and running a business didn't work

Gosh! No wonder it didn't work! But when the timing is right it still can. I know I can self study, I know I can apply for entry into year two in Dec. Mostly I know I need to take time to get my mojo back after an extremely stressful two years. And I know I need to take time out to clarify what's truly important and how best to achieve it.

How about you? What do you need to do to boost your self-belief?

waning passion for a career as an architect certainly didn't work

reinvention, rejuvination, renewal

2009-07-30T19:42:00.000-07:00

I received an update recently from a fabulously talented lady in the States I've been following and I couldn't help but be excited by how similarly we are feeling.

Here's her entry that got me thinking that it's time to stop, rest, dream and plan rather than continue frenetically along the pathS I'm currently on.

"You may have to reinvent your role as a marketer too at some point. It’s not that I’m wishy washy about it - I just have a lot I want to accomplish. I like teaching total newbies what an autoresponder is, or exchanging ideas with other advanced marketers. I like introducing new concepts to people and providing cheap writing via my PLR Mini Mart.

Right now, I have my hands in too many cookie jars - literally and figuratively. So I’ve decided that starting tomorrow and through the month of August, I am going to step back and decide what I want to pursue more heavily. Instead of doing a little PLR, a little info product training, a bit of social networking tutorials - I will decide what makes my heart go kerplunk and follow that dream full steam ahead. I need a drawing board with a plan, Stan! And I’m going to get it.

But I need a clear head for it. This month, I worked my butt off paying off my August bills ahead of time. I know it sounds odd to those without a problem, but I have to spend a lot of time on losing weight, too. It impedes my thought process. I can’t explain it - it just does. I’m happy in every way in life except my weight - and I have 100 pounds to lose. A mountain.

So I am making this next month (starting tomorrow), a period of back to the basics for Tiff. I’m going to wake up each morning, check email to answer customer service questions, etc., and then work on my weight. While I’m exercising, I will be exploring my options, thinking hard about what fulfills me - not just what makes ends meet or allows me to profit more. Right now, I can’t even multi task between weight loss and work. It is exhausting because exercise drains my energy and I need energy to work. I need my head to be clear and focused."

If Tiff can do it - I can do. So effective tonight I'm going to disconnect from technology for a while and do some serious thinking about who I am, who I want to be and how I'm going to get there. Exciting stuff!

So far I've cut myself some slack from my architecture studies - the course is not really what I need and being with 17-18 year olds not the stimulation I need to fuel my passion. So quess what - I quit! That doesn't mean I'm going to give up on my dream. IT just means I'm going to buy myself some time and really look at my options.

Effective tonight I'm baby sitting my mothers dog and her house for a month - so that will be a nice break.

After that....I'll deal with that then

How can you take time out to reflect on who you are and what makes you tick?

Perserverance

2009-07-28T09:39:00.000-07:00

I'm learning a lot about perseverance this week - week three of my return to study architecture after a gap of 15 years. Technology has surpassed me and kids the same age as my daughter draw like mini Michelangelo's! It's easy too feel less than adequate. During times like this the "easy" option is to quit.

But quitting won't help me achieve my end goal - making a living from creating regenerative architecture... Homes and buildings that improve life.

Quitting won't help me learn what I came to learn or acquire the skills I'm weak in.

So how do I boost my flagging spirits and growing frustration:

cultivate patience - remind myself mastery takes time
practise - related to the above is the fact that mastery takes work. More practise, much more in some areas, is needed

ask for help - head for the experts and ask them to give a little of their time - pay them for coaching and assistance if need be. I did this when I did my Commerce Degree back in 1996 and was struggling with statistics and quantative analysis and it worked a treat

look to mentors - i find architects like John Launter who weren't formerly trained and value skills I have encouraging

delay making a decision - today after an average critique session and mediocre lectures I felt like quitting. I also have my period, am lacking sleep and am generally unsettled - not helped by being away from home and lugging books and materials from campus to campus, house to house. My partner has made me promise not to decide about quitting until after the weekend. He knows I'll feel differently after a rest:)

stress less - keep stress levels at bay by exercising, eating well, resting, time with friends - and time alone!

Have fun - remind myself to enjoy the ride and to be grateful I have this wonderful opportunity:)

How to be happy@work while embarking on a new, challenging, somewhat daunting career

2009-07-13T20:02:00.001-07:00

I received this lovely feedback last month - but only just found it in my in-tray:

"Congratulations on being true to yourself and making your dreams become your reality.

I just love reading about people who “walk the talk” – and who are taking big, bold, exciting steps.

It is wonderful.

Warmest wishes for continuing a very successful life….
Liz, Career Consultant, Career Services rapuara

It really made my day - especially as this is day 2 of my course. I'd be lying if I said there weren't times when I thought "oh, my god, what am I doing?" There's even been times when I wanted to quit! So soon, I hear you say! But I'm not quitting, I 'm staying even though all this new learning is blowing my mind, even though assignments are already stockpiling, even though I'm trying to live a balanced life and make room for my partner and his needs, even though as of Thursday I'll be officially homeless (I've rented out the house to fund my studies).

What keeps me there? The share challenge - and the fact that for the first time in my life I am studying my true path with heart - creating healing, sustainable, organic architecture that feeds peoples mind, body and soul:)

I also remind myself how lucky I am to have this opportunity and affirm my courage - over the years I've career counselled many people too frightened, too lazy, too comfortable, or too suppressed to make a change for the better. I hope my journey inspires others:) If i can find a way - you can too!

Happiness is...living green in Costa Rica

2009-07-05T16:31:00.000-07:00

Costa Rica tops happiness, 'green living' poll

SAN JOSE (AFP) — Costa Rica is the happiest place on earth, and one of the most environmentally friendly, according to a new survey by a British non-governmental group.

The New Economics Foundation looked at 143 countries that are home to 99 percent of the world's population and devised an equation that weighed life expectancy and people's happiness against their environmental impact.

By that formula, Costa Rica is the happiest, greenest country in the world, just ahead of the Dominican Republic.

Latin American countries did well in the survey, occupying nine of the top 10 spots.

Australia scored third place, but other major Western nations did poorly, with Britain coming in at 74th place and the United States at 114th.

The New Economics Foundation's measurements found Costa Ricans have a life expectancy of 78.5 years, and 85 percent of the country's residents say they are happy and satisfied with their lives.

Those figures, taken along with the fact that Costa Rica has a small "ecological footprint," combined to push the small nation to the top of the list.

A 2006 New Economics Foundation study designated Vanuatu the world's happiest nation, with Costa Rica at second place.

Sociologist Andrea Fonseca said Costa Rica gives its citizens the "tools" to be happy, but cautioned that happiness cannot be calculated just by looking at life expectancy and environmental practices.

She added that the country's rise to the top of the Happy Planet Index "has a lot to do with social imagination."

Costa Rica has a peaceful reputation because it does not have an army, and is also known for its protected ecological zones and national slogan "pure life," she said.

Read more about this fascinating destination here

How to create new jobs - innovation is the key

2009-06-21T15:51:00.000-07:00

As New Zealand, The United States and other countries struggle to keep people employed, they often forget that the solution is not always about preserving the jobs that already exist. The solution to unemployment is to create jobs — lots of them in new and emerging areas.

As some people say, necessity is the mother of all invention - and this recession certainly has created the necessity. Thousands and thousands of people are out of work and many people are signing onto the dole queues for the first time in their lives. The jobs of the past no longer exist and new areas are yet to be invented.

But while innovation and creativity are catalysts to employment, just when the engines should be firing spending and risk taking is at an all time low. Even the U.S. Patent office is slowing down as innovative dries up.

Unemployment is highest where there are the least educated and skilled people and where the likelihood of new companies investing is low. Recently the New Zealand Government has withdrawn funding for Community Education classes and Universities are cutting back on courses.

Where is this all going to lead? Will there be tears or can we all learn to be happy@work again, gainfully employed and thriving and surviving in the wake of this very severe crisis?

Click here to check out the following though provoking article by US HR expert and columnist Kevin Wheeler. As he says:

"We are not going to come out of this recession just by employing people in massive public works projects or by propping up failing companies with obsolete and non-competitive products and services. Even if these measures work at all, their impact will be small and short.

Our stimulus money should go to entrepreneurs, inventors, and creative people who will dream up the new services and the new tools and products that will fuel growth and employment. We need to incentivize investment in high unemployment areas and provide education and training at no cost to those who need it."

How to help unhappy people generate their own solutions

2009-06-09T02:53:00.001-07:00

Help people generate their own solutions

“People possess the necessary resources to find solutions to their complaints – coaching helps them tap into these resources so they can construct solutions." - Lipchik

While listening can be one of the most helpful things you can do for another person, over time staying stuck in problems can take its toll. Adopting some solutions focused language skills can shift people from talking about problems to creating their own solutions. Instead of launching into generating solutions for them try posing some well structured questions.

Solutions focused techniques lie at the heart of the Worklife Solutions FastTrack coaching process and is an important part of the coach’s toolkit. The roots of Solutions-Focused Coaching stem from counselling and therapy based techniques developed in the 1970s by Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg at the Brief Family Centre, Milwaukee in North America. Solution-Focused Therapy’s philosophy is that all clients have strengths, skills and resources and that they are the experts on what they want to achieve. The coach is not the expert, entrusted to “solve” the client's problems, but to act as a facilitator, and guide who empower their clients to create their own solutions and tap into their inner based resources.

Unlike counselling approaches which focus on providing clients with an awareness of the problem’s nature and origins (past based), solutions focused coaching emphasises focusing on possibilities and the clients preferred future. Thus instead of focusing on the problem, exceptions to the problem (ie times when the problem isn’t a problem) are drawn out. Often the solution is not necessarily linked to the problem at all.

The power of solutions-focused coaching often stems from carefully thought out open questions applied at the appropriate time and designed to encourage clients not only to behave differently but also to view themselves differently.

"One has not only an ability to perceive the world,but an ability to alter one's perception of it; more simply,one can change things by the manner in which one looks at them." -Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

Some useful solutions focused questions include:

LOOKING FOR EXCEPTIONS

The purpose of this technique is to help people to notice the absence of the problem and to notice their successes.

When's the most recent time that the problem happens less/not at all?
What did you try recently that worked? What are you doing now that works? (Get details –“What difference did it make? How did you do it?”
Tell me about the times it happens less.
Tell me about the times that it doesn't happen.

COPING QUESTIONS

The purpose of these questions is to help people realise how resourceful and strong they already are. When clients are catastrophising or find it hard to see anything good in their life coping questions can help them to recognise glimmers of hope, courage or resourcefulness they already possess.

How come it is not worse?
How are you handling it?
In spite of everything that is happening how did you ________ (get up in the morning; get here today, etc).
What’s been a little bit helpful so far? (This can be a good question to ask when people worry they are not making progress.)

Contact one of the Worklife Solutions team if you or someone you know could benefit from some solutions focused coaching.

Working with a Worklife career and life coach can help you:
•   Clarify your dreams and goals
•   Motivate you to take action
•   Increase your confidence and self-esteem
•   Increase your satisfaction and happiness
•   Fulfill your potential
•   Save time and money
•   Earn what you deserve
•   Break free of habits that sabotage your success
Coaching programmes start from as little as $150 +gst. Please contact us for a confidential no obligation needs assessment. Further details can be found on our website:

How to deal effectively with your partner's unhappiness at work

2009-06-08T23:40:00.001-07:00

Are you happy at work? Given the statistics that say 53% of people are unhappy in their current job the odds are that if you are happy your partner, or someone you care about is not.

Liking what you do is not only a vital ingredient of career success but also health and mental well-being. When people don’t do the things they love their health can suffer. Common signs of neglecting passion or staying trapped in a job that they don’t enjoy can include:

* Headaches

* Insomnia

* Tiredness

* Depression

* Low self –esteem

* Lack of confidence

* Irritability

The body never lies, however, many people soldier on ignoring the obvious warning signs their body is giving them. With all that negativity it’s no wonder personal relationships take a hammering. People shut down, relationships end, divorce rates soar and physical abuse rears its ugly head.

If your partner or someone you care for is unhappy what do you do? I've been thinking about this a lot myself lately. Making your partner happy is a great feeling, particularly when they seem upset. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that when your loved ones are happy, you are more likely to be happy too.

However it's not always easy to help those close to you. As a natural problem solver my instinctive tendency is to jump in and do what I can to make everything all right. However, in my personal relationships this doesn’t always have the desired results. My partner shuts down and feels like I am just one of many people telling him what he could, should and must do.

In my role as a life coach I know that telling people what to do is disempowering. As a partner, mother, daughter etc sometime I forget to use my professional skills to best effect. The truth is that many unhappy people want you to hear them out. Problem solving is often the last thing on their mind. While they may not acknowledge it often they just want someone to listen them into their own solution.

As one of my friends said the other day, “When I sat down and heard myself telling my partner what was upsetting me, I realized that what seemed like such a big problem was not so huge afte rall. I realized that I had been making a mountain out of a molehill.”

Active listening

“I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention, especially if it’s given from the heart.” - Rachel Remen

The quotes above and below powerfully sum up the transformational power of listening.

"To “listen” another's soul into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be almost the greatest service that any human being ever performs for another." -Douglas Steele, Author of A Random Harvest

We are born with two ears and one mouth, yet often it seems that people spend a disproportionate time talking and far less time actively listening to another person. Yet as the quote above highlights, listening is often the “greatest service that any human being ever performs for another.”

Being an active listener is one of the key components of listening well.

The key components of active listening includes:

Showing Empathy And Building Rapport
‘Just Listening’
Using Clarifying Questions
Dealing With Content – Paraphrasing
Reflecting Feelings
Summarising
Acknowledging Blocks To Listening
Awareness of Filters

ACKNOWLEDGING BLOCKS TO LISTENING

Enhance your ability to listen by reading through the common barriers to good listening. How many can you personally identify with?

Anticipating what might be said and leading the conversation without giving adequate space for the other to share.

Filtering is listening to some things and not to others. It is hearing only what you want to hear, half listening while focusing on things other than what is really being said.
Identifying is referring everything to your own experience and immediately sharing of that experience instead of responding to the others experience.
Comparing is responding with the approach that, "others cope", or saying "this is the way it has been for years and nobody has complained before" which is an inappropriate response. Every situation is different.
Mind Reading is attempting to determine/guess what the other is really thinking or saying before you have listened to the person’s story.
Rehearsing is concentrating on what you are going to say next without taking on board/assessing what is being said and integrating this in your response.
Judging is putting a value understanding on what you are hearing and allowing such an understanding to negatively impact the person. This ‘value judgment’ may arise from your previous knowledge/understanding of an individual, experience of similar situation, response of manager in past, etc.
Advising is offering advice, suggestions or possible solutions which do not allow the individual to determine the course of action for themselves. Advising is not appropriate when it is used as a problem solving approach.
Sparring is focusing on aspects of what has been shared that you do not agree with and openly saying so, ie getting into potential conflict situations on the shared issues. Responding with genuinely held contrary views, feelings, etc or countering with sarcasm or put-downs is not helpful.
Being Right is expounding what you perceive to be right and may indicate your inability to be open to what is being said ie open to change, open to criticism, open to being corrected etc.
De-railing is changing the subject or joking or referring to things other than what is obviously the central issue. Such an attitude and response diverts and devalues what is being shared.
Dreaming is not staying focused on what is being shared because of an association with what is being shared and your own experience.
Placating is just agreeing with/accepting everything that is being said without constructive feedback, questioning, empathy etc.

AWARENESS OF FILTERS

There are a multitude of filters that affect what we hear and how we hear it.

Our own personal needs
Prejudices
Culture
Family norms
Expectations
Past experiences
Desires
Gender
Sexual orientation
History
Attitudes
Preconceptions about the speaker
Established motivations
Physical environment
Values and view of life
Interests
Strong feelings
Assumptions
Strongly held beliefs
Power relations

Help people generate their own solutions

Some useful solutions focused questions include:

When was (the problem) not so bad?
On a scale of 1-10 - 10 being (the problem is really bad) and 1 being not that bad, how would you rate the problem. Why not worse? How come so good?

Stress less

Increasing stress levels and a lack of worklife balance really wreck havoc with happiness@work levels. Click here to learn how to stress less and achieve more. Regain some balance here

Get inspired

Help people get inspired by forwarding interesting links, articles and resources their way. Eventually they’ll get the message that there’s a land of opportunity out there just waiting for them to till the soil

Patience and passion - Interesting link

Check out this interesting and timely reminder about the importance of living and working with passion. Gary Vaynerchuk’s PP message - patience and passion rings true. So many are questioning what they are doing, whether they have a true passion for it. Gary's message: if you are not doing what you do with passion, stop doing it! OR in his own words “There is no reason to do shit that you hate." Click here to hear Gary's thought provoking talk

Life and career coaching

Encourage people to take control or their career and let us help them achieve their dreams. The Worklife Solutions team of life and career coaches are here to help in whatever way we can – please feel free to email or telephone us if you would like to know how our “Free To Be Me” life coaching programme or “Passion Driven Work” career coaching could help you or your loved ones achieve greater success, health and prosperity. We'd love to help you work out where you are now, where you want to be, and how you can get there.

Working with a Worklife career and life coach can help you:

Clarify your dreams and goals
Motivate you to take action
Increase your confidence and self-esteem
Increase your satisfaction and happiness
Fulfill your potential
Save time and money
Earn what you deserve
Break free of habits that sabotage your success

Coaching programmes start from as little as $150 +gst. Please contact us for a confidential no obligation needs assessment. Further details can be found on our website: http://www.worklifesolutions.co.nz/servind.php

Happy@work: job-hunting for mid-lifers+

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As a recent reviewer said, “Designed for disgruntled mid-lifers no longer happy in their work, this book is worth a look for anyone willingly or unwillingly, facing the need to revisit what they really want from their work life and gives advice on how best to manage a change process “

You can download free chapters and pre-purchase a signed copy from www.cassandragaisford.com - click here to be taken straight to the link

Be patient and stay positive

No matter how unhappy your partner or loved one is being patient is a must to make the relationship work. During times of stress negative emotions can be hard for all parties to contain Try and stay positive and make a commitment not to make any negative comments to each other regardless how sad, mad, frustrated or anxious to find a workable solution you are. Try to keep things in perspective – better to be loved and supported, loving and supporting than to lose it all. Open, loving communication is critical and making room for some fun is a great cure for the career blues.

Work with colour!

2009-05-18T22:40:00.000-07:00

People often ask me, "How do you manage to stay so happy at work. What's your secret?"

Surrounding myself with inspiration is a central and constant theme.

Last night I went along to see my good friend and acclaimed NZ artist Max Gimblett. He is in NZ fresh from his successful showing at the Guggenheim in New York. Marcia and James of PaigeBlackie Gallery hosted a simply divine evening where myself and a few select clients and followers of Max's work and life dined in the gallery surrounded by his new work.

Just look how colourful this particular one is! The amazing thing is that it goes with my new ColourGirl logo perfectly.

What a night of coincidences it was - just look how my friend Laurie, and Max, unconsciously matched their outfits. Can you believe that this is the first time they met! I noticed Max's shoes immediately. Aren't they gorgeous!

Max had a similar pair custom made for the Guggenheim show. "I thought, I'm going to have make a stand amongst all these well established artists, so I wore a pair of silver shoes, and was instantly noticed." he laughed.

Laurie and I definitely stood out in the gallery that night - every single other guest, apart from co-owner Marcia, was dressed head to toe in black.

Of course nothing compared to the mesmerising beauty of Max Gimblett's work.

Be sure to get along to the PaigeBlackie Gallery

Max's show White Stone Clear Water is on show 19 May until 20 June.

As you may know, Max Gimblett wrote the foreword to my book "Happy@work: job hunting for mid-lifer's +" The timing couldn't be better - another international publisher has expressed interest in helping me take the book to the world!

Click here to learn more about this exciting new development.

Make a lasting impression

2009-05-12T22:37:00.000-07:00

Victoria Beckham once said she wanted to be as famous as a British washing machine company, Persil Automatic. Now a global name Victoria has definitely achieved her goal - what's not so clear though, is whether she's famous because she's married to David Beckham or is it because she's created a brand based on her personal style.

Whatever the reasons, one thing is clear. If you want to achieve success you need to stand out from the crowd.

You might not want to be famous but odds are you'd like to boost your life naturally and effectively.

You don’t get a second chance when it comes to making a good first impression.

It’s not just what you say, but what you wear, that speaks loudly about who you are and which shapes the impression you leave. Do you, like 80% of the corporate workforce, dress head to toe in black? What does black communicate? For many people black is the colour of mourning; the grim reaper; depression; conservatism; boredom and nothing at all. Are these the messages you want to send out?

Boost your visibility. Stand out from the crowd and add colour to your corporate wardrobe.

Discover how working with the Colour Girl and creating a strong Personal Brand can help you to:

• Create powerful, lasting first impressions
• Increase your visibility and raise your profile
• Build a reputation that precedes you
• Be known as the expert in your field
• Gain and maintain a competitive edge
• Fare better in economic downturns
•Boost your confidence and self esteem
• Increase your income

The Positive Power of Colour

The other day one of my friends, aged in her early forties, told me how drab and 'blah' she felt. She put her hand up to her face and ran it across her cheeks – “I feel so old” she said sadly.

“You wear a lot of black", I said, running my eyes over her black top and trousers.

“It’s easy, I don’t have to think about it,” she said glumly.

“But how does so much black make you feel?” I persisted.

“Blah, “ she repeated, before brightly adding, “The other day I wore a fabulous green top and my five year old was so excited, as soon as we got to school he ran up to his teacher and said, 'Look at the lovely green top my mummy I wearing.’ He loves it when I wear colour, “ she added, "I just lack the confidence to know what really suits me, " she reflected.

Does this sound like you?

Everyone loves it when you wear colour. And more significantly, when you wear colours that truly suit you, you’ll feel better , your self-esteem will soar and so will your confidence too.

Whether it's the winter blues or the onset of aging whip the "blah's" into shape and wear more colour today. You’ll look years younger and who knows, it may even save your life.

Plus colourful people are successful people.

Why get professional help?

Have you ever wondered how many people appear to master the art of effortless style? Chances are they've had the help of a professional image consultant. I know I did!

10 years ago I had no idea what suited me and,like many people, dressed head to toe in black.

The colour black is a colour that only a very select few can wear confident in their knowledge that it flatters. For the large majority of people black drains them of colour making them look sickly, old, tired and dull. Is that really how you want to look and feel?

You may not be ready to toss out all your black but with help you can begin to explore other alternatives and wear a range of colours confidently. You may find, as I did, that the best colour for me was one I never, ever, dreamed I could wear. Orange and yellow have become my signature colours and people stop me in the street to tell me how fabulous I look. More importantly they tell me how wonderful seeing these colours makes them feel.

You may be wondering why you need to see a stylist or an image consultant. Times are changing. More and more people are seeking a life coach for inner transformation, a career coach to help find their best-fit career. And as competition steps up for jobs (and relationships) smart people are turning to image consultants to help give them the edge.

First impressions are lasting impressions - and you don't have much time to make one! 10 seconds at least. 30 at most!

Impressions are formed by a variety of factors - but what you wear speaks loudly of who you are. You may think people should spend time getting to know the real you, but the reality is very often they won't. Time is short and visual impressions are lasting ones.

Anyone can look great and anyone can wear colour. It's not dependent on age, lifestyle, budget or body shape. Some of my most successful outfits cost less than $10. Yesterday I bought a dress for $8 and everyone raves about it. The trick is knowing what to wear and how to wear it in a way that makes you look and feel great. Confidence plays a big part.

An image consultant can help you break free of bad habits and encourage you to find and try a new look more suited to who you are and who you want to be.

Treat yourself to a make-over now. You're worth it!

Check out the range of services, benefits and pricing at www.thecolourgirl.com or contact me via email or phone to arrange an appointment 04 972 4663 or Cassandra@thecolourgirl.com

The healing power of colour

2009-05-07T13:36:00.001-07:00

Does lime make your feel refreshed? Does orange make you smile? Does Yellow fill you with confidence, or white with a sense of peace?

Wherever we are, whatever we're doing, colour is with us and influencing our thoughts, emotions and physical condition.

Intuitively we all sense the healing power of colour. But during times of ill-health, grief, change or stress many people feel drawn to colours only add to feelings of low energy, anxiety, depression and despair.

Few people consciously realise that throughout our lives our own personal electromagnetic field (our aura), envelopes each of us with either a vibrant or depleted array of ever-changing colours determined by what we are thinking, feeling and experiencing at any one point in time.

Why does colour matter?
Colour vibrates light and humans have a physiological response to colour. Research shows that when a person is placed in a red room, their temperature goes up and their heart rates increases (great if you need to let go of lethargy but not so great if you are highly stressed!)

Colour's ability to affect our body, mind and spirit, gives it the power to calm, excite, inspire, balance, bring about a state or harmony and to heal.

Colour even possesses a language of its own. Think of the number of times you have heard or used the expressions such as, "green with envy," "pale as a ghost," "looking off colour," "feeling blue, " or "life has lost its colour."

To a colour therapist, being off colour means that certain colours are missing from our aura or that the colours are appearing in the wrong place or to the wrong degree.

Tap into the healing power of colour and literally transform your life.

Colour is used in many forms to heal and aid the sick, diseased and the distressed.
Here are a few ways:

Visualise healing colour rays
Chromatherapy (colour therapy) is a method of treating diseases by colour. Visualising certain coloured rays is used by colour therapists to treat patients with certain illnesses. It can be used in the form of passing sunlight through panes of coloured glass or filters and by using coloured lamps. Another method used to obtain the colour for therapy is by putting water in coloured, clear containers out in the sun and allowing the sun's rays to pass through the coloured glass into the water, then the colour water is sipped.

Colour healing for medical conditions should only be done by people who are expert in knowing what colour or what mixture of colours is needed for a certain patient with a certain illness.

Red for example is the fire of heat, fire, passion and anger. Because it is a stimulating and energising colour it is used effectively in the treatment of diseases like low blood pressure, rheumatism, and advanced cases of tuberculosis.

Each colour and colour combination has its own vibration - as do people - and making it compatible with individual patient's vibrational energies requires expertise.

As well as being very distinctive visually, each colour has its own feeling and taste. So while one colour would be a good treatment for one patient it may cause problems for another. Over exposure to certain colours may also result in side effects.

To much red energy could increase stress levels and bllod pressure for example, or add to feelings of rage. So colour therapy must be used wisely and only by those who have the knowledge to use it.  

Follow this link if you are interested in learning more about chromatherapy http://health.learninginfo.org/chromotherapy.htm

Eat more colour
Some healers like to use the visualised coloured rays only but some like to help keep the colour energies around the patient. This can be done keeping the colour in the food they eat. For example blue foods are used by many therapists to help reduce stress levels in patients. For other clients with low energy may be encoruaged to eat more red - red capscisums, and red cabbage are just a few of the many red foods available.

Eat your way to improved moods. Organic fruit and veges are rich with colour energy. Bananas for example are enriched with oddles of cheerful yellow energy. Leafy spinach and other natural greens are packed with vitamins and minerals and saturated with green energy – great for packing in some more “get up and go” energy or for calming an excess of red/stress based energy. Violets and purples are the colours traditionally associated with intuition or spiritual understanding. If you are feeling a bit depleted in this area of your life munch on some purple cabbage, whip up an eggplant dip or sip on a berry smoothie for example. Violet purple foods also act as a soothing tranquiliser for frayed nerves and for those with highly strung dispositions.

Wear more colour
The clothes you wear can have a dramatic increase on the way you feel. Personally, black makes me feel sombre, depleted and depressed. Others find it strengthening and affirming. Colour is a dynamic energy force. How you feel about colour will differ depending on what is going on for you personally. If life is incredibly stressful you may feel drawn to calming greens and blues. Or you may crave neutral whites. If you really need more get up and go, however, you may prefer to wear more energy by putting on some red or any other colour that makes you feel energised and motivated.

Whip depression into shape – wear some sunshine. Warm colours like yellows and oranges are a great antedocte to the bleakers greys and blacks most often cited by people suffering from depression. Feel your way to a new improved you by wearing colours that feel uplifting, cheerful and expansive. If warmer colours are not your thing, nature provides plenty of other inspiration. Green, for example, for many people promotes feelings of comfort, relaxation and healing. In eastern philosphy green is also the colour associated with the heart chakra. If you are trying to reconnect with things you love surrounding yourself with green may be just what you need.

Live in more colour
The colours we surround ourselves with on a daily basis have a profound affect on our moods and general well-being.

Because colour can drastically affect your mood, it is important to always bear this in mind when embarking on interior design projects.

There are no hard and fast rules about choosing colours. Create your own sense of harmony by creating your own colour spectrum. It really is not wise to go for a colour purely because it is in vogue at the moment - you will soon live to regret it!   Stick to your favourite colours or group of colours, ones which affirm who you are and how you want to feel, and build these into your overall scheme.

Using colours that you know lift your spirits will make your colour choice work for you. If you are not feeling brave enough to paint your walls, paintings, sculptures, soft furnishings and even flowers can inject some colour simply and affectively.

Smell colour

The use of essential oils can assist, sometimes greatly, with particular emotional issues. When I have headaches or feel stressed I often reach for my green based peppermint oil and dab a bit on my forehead. The headache literally melts away. Rosemary essence is also a favorite. This is commonly used by aromatherapy practitioners to treat physical and mental fatigue, forgetfulness and respiratory problems among other ailments.

Lime on the other hand is a great anti-depressive scent.

If I need a happiness boost, I reach for the expanisve uplifting aromas of orange, manderin or yland,ylang – all of which are derived from plants from the warmer colour spectrum.Happiness blends are formulated from oils known to promote happiness and feelings of joy and is excellent for those gloomy and melancholy days.

One of my favourite happiness blends is made from massage oil mixed with the essential oils of Lavender, Ylang Ylang, Peppermint, Orange, Lemon, and Lemongrass. Be sure to use 100% Grade A Essential Oils, distilled with low pressure and low temperature for aromatic and massage use.

Ideal for physical and emotional support, Lavender as a whole is an 'adaptogenic' essence with a relationship to all Body Systems. It is called the first aid in a bottle oil. Lavender produces an Anti-Allergic Essential oil, with an inherent antibiotic action. It is also an astringent as well as moisturizing to skin. It alleviates aches, pains, and swelling from arthritis to injury to headache. Lavender also alleviates motion sickness.

Emotionally, lavender helps support a calm composure and self-expression. It reduces irritability, insomnia, nightmares, apprehension, panic attacks combined with uncontrollable shaking, stress, nervous tension, hysteria and is generally balancing to the psyche, as well as the body.

Ylang ylang oil has a euphoric and sedative effect on the nervous system. It helps with anxiety, tension, shock, fear and panic.

Peppermint oil is excellent for mental fatigue and depression. It helps reduce apathy, shock, headache, migraine, nervous stress, vertigo and faintness. I often carry around a small bottle of peppermint essential oils and dab it on my forehead to ward off headaches or to give myself a "brain cleanse."

The psychology of colour

RED: is the colour of energy, vitality and power. It is used for burning out cancer, drying up weeping sores or wounds, etc., it will warm cold areas to reduce pain. Red is a powerful healing agent for healing diseases of the blood and circulation. It will help with depression. Red is not to be used on people with high blood pressure or anxiety. If you stay under the red ray too long or are exposed to red for a considerable time it will make you very agitated or even aggressive.  

ORANGE: is also a colour of energy. It is used to increase immunity, to increase sexual potency, to help in all digestive ailments, chest and kidney diseases. Orange will have a gentle warming effect if used lightly. Orange, like red should not be used for too long. It is not a good colour for nervy people or people easily agitated.  

YELLOW: is the colour of intellect and it is used for mental stimulation, it will help you think quicker. It is good for clearing a foggy head. To help cure dermatitis and other skin problems and again it must be used carefully because it is very stimulating and it could cause exhaustion and depression.  

GREEN: Is the colour of harmony and balance. It is good for tired nerves and it helps with the heart area. It will balance the emotions and bring about a feeling of calmness. Green is a good general healing colour because it stimulates growth so it is good for helping heal broken bones, regrowth of tissue of all kinds. Green is a good colour for pregnant women to help create an atmosphere of serenity and calm. Too much green may create more negative energy if there is some already present in the person being treated.  

BLUE: is the colour of truth, serenity and harmony, by helping to sooth the mind. Blue is good for cooling, calming, reconstructing and protecting. Blue will help feverish conditions, it will help stop bleeding and it will help with nervous irritations. It is very good for burns. Too much blue could leave you cold, depressed and sorrowful.  

INDIGO: is the higher aspect of blue, so it will have all the attributes of blue plus it is very good for the head. It will clear a congested head to allow a clearer path for the conscious to the spiritual self. It is used for the diseases of the ears, nose and eyes. Plus it is very good for sinus. Indigo is a good astringent and it is a good purifier. Too much indigo could give you a headache and it could make you very drowsy.  

PURPLE: is also a colour that will connect you with your spiritual self. It is good for mental and nervous problems. It will assist very well with rheumatism and epilepsy. Helps with pain, is used in deep tissue work and helps heal the bones. Too much purple and you don't tend to live in this world.  

LAVENDER: is the colour of equilibrium, it helps with spiritual healing. It is used as a tranquilliser and it will aid sleep. It is a colour of replenishing and rebuilding. It is like a tonic for the body. Too much will make you very tired and disoriented.  

WHITE: is the colour of purity. It will purify the body on the highest levels. It is the highest charging field to bring peace and comfort at the highest level. White is the best reliever of pain.

  SILVER: is the colour of peace and persistence. It is the major purging colour so it is very good for removing unwanted diseases and troubles from the body. It is best for cancer of tissue and blood.  GOLD: is the strongest colour to help cure all illness. It is so strong that many people are not able to tolerate it, so people have to be conditioned to gold over a period of time.

Gold strengthens all fields of the body and spirit.  

BLACK: is a colour that is not used very often but some people believe it will help bring a patient to a state of grace, and that it will help them reach the silence and the peace of God. Perhaps this explains why many religious figures were drawn to black. To much black can add to feelings of depression and isolation.

Happy@work update

2009-04-27T03:33:00.000-07:00

I received terrific news today from a wonderful lady who I met on a romance writing workshop. Formerly an editor with NZ House and Garden she is working as a freelance writer and is knowledgable and well connected in the publishing world.

She's put me onto a new international publisher that has just entered the NZ market and is putting in a good word as we speak!

" I think it's brilliant! It's crying out to be published. Great concept, a logical flow, nice and bright and engaging and inspirational

and (presumably) filled with real-life examples.

You have a huge advantage in that the book's actually written, and reads well! So I would leave it as is,and acknowledge that there is room to adjust the market, and title, or whatever." - Bronwyn McEvoy.

So now I am feeling super excited and reinspired again. In another well-timed Go-incidence I also found this email today from an eMarketer based in the US offering to help me market Happy@work over there: "Let me know when your site's ready and I'll Tweet your book for you.I have almost 5,000 followers - most baby boomers needing work. Tiff ;)"

Help keep my inspiration alive and your dreams of happiness@work alive by dowloading free sample chapters and pre-ordering today here's how . I have a strong feeling that once the book is out sales are going to be running hot! Pre-order now to avoid disappointment.

Scare your self - but don't forget to wear sunscreen

2009-04-14T16:15:00.000-07:00

A friend reminded me of the wonderfully profound song that I used to listen to on the radio, Baz Luhrmann's Wear Sunscreen. You can listen to it here or read it below.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’97
Wear sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

(Brother and sister together we'll make it through
Someday your spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting, but I know I've been waiting to be there
for you. And I'll be there, just helping you out, whenever I can.
Everybody's free.)

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

(Brother and sister together we'll make it through
Someday your spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting, but I know I've been waiting to be there
for you. And I'll be there, just helping you out, whenever I can.
Everybody's free.)

Live your dream

2009-04-07T20:19:00.000-07:00

Happy@work update

2009-04-02T02:41:00.000-07:00

Last month I received confirmation from the publishers that last year were very keen to publish "Happy@work: job hunting for mid-lifers+

Sadly the book is another victim of the recession - doubly sadly as this is the very book people need during this time.

Here's what they said:

We have been discussing in some depth the Happy@Work proposal and it gives me no joy at all to have to say that we have decided not to publish. It has not been an easy decision to make, and it is fuelled primarily by the downturn in the economy and its harsh effect on the book trade. We really have been obliged to pull in our horns, and I’m afraid that despite your very reasonable assurances that a strong market exists for your proposal, we would maintain that sales in this particular area of the list are particular hard to predict, and we are simply having to take a cautious line.

So now, I'm taking a breather and planning how best to approach the issue of publish or not publish myself. I have been let down buy the people editing my book too - after assuring me it would be ready for the planned launch last year they didn't deliver and I had to cancel. Now they have sent me (5 months late - when they told me I would have the edited version 2 weeks after I gave it to them) what they call the final version. Except it's incomplete - the US edition is missing and edits have been omitted. The whole thing is tiresome. I thought I was dealing with professionals - I realise now they didn't share my passion.....I shoud've trusted my gut instinct in this respect.

yet I live and I learn and as the publishers said to me when I told them I understood their situation:

Thank you for seeing the positive side to it, and I really do wish you the very best. If attitude counts as much as I think it does, you’ll fly

here's looking forward to flying!

Let me know if you know anyone who may be interesting in partnering with me to publish:)

ps just received insider information today that the publishing company who turned the book away due to recessionary caution has made 50% of its workforce redundant. Times are tough indeed for so many.

Pursuing dreams

2009-04-02T01:43:00.000-07:00

My daughter fulfilled one of her dreams the other day when she was invited by Dame Malvina Major to sing for her. Hannah was so excited, and so nervous, she nearly fainted! Minutes before she went in to sing for her she heard another girl singing and she rang me in a panic. “She’s singing the same song I was going to – and she sung it perfectly!” After calming her down I asked for a bit more information and found out that the girl before her was in fact an older woman who was in Dame Malvina’s master class. “Remember how gifted you are, Hannah,” I counseled her, “remind yourself how you received a distinction pass in your Trinity Music exams and also that you are here to learn and have not had any lessons for a year – just sing from your heart and you will be fine.” And she was!

Hannah is lucky – I have always encouraged her dreams and nurtured her natural talent. But many others haven’t. When she was 6 I recall one day, as she was happily rocking in the hammock and singing on the verandah, the little girl next door popped her head out of her window and screeched, “you think you can sing but you can’t.” Hannah burst into tears and stopped singing.

As recently as last month when she told a careers adviser at Canterbury University that she would like to audition for the voice school the woman soberly replied, “oh you won’t get in, it’s very competitive.” She hadn’t even heard her sing!

As Christopher Gardner said in his book, and later a movie, the Pursuit of Happiness”, “You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves they wanna tell you that you can’t do it. You want something? Go get it period.”

If your dreams could do with a boost the following questions could be just the motivational kick start you need.

Action Questions Pursuing dreams
Write down at least 5 things that come quickly to mind for each of the following questions, then go back and circle the four things that excite you the most. Make a note of the patterns and themes that occur. (For example, they all have to do with taking a risk; or they have to creativity or helping people) Identify steps to help make these dreams your reality.

What would you be doing if you weren’t afraid?

If you were doing what you love how would your life be different? What changes would you make?

Where do your interests and natural talents lie?

What people do you most admire and why?

What secret longings do you have that are lying dormant or tucked away?

In the past what activities have captured your interest and felt most compelling? (This is an indication of your passion at work.)

If you followed the call of your passion where would it take you?

What activities do you love doing?

What energises you?

Write a ‘wish list’ of all the activities you would love to do if anything were possible.

What do you dream about?

Think about someone who has a ” dream job” - . What do they do?

What are you doing when time seems to fly?

What are your hobbies?

If money were no object, what kind of work would you love to do?

As Oprah Winfrey said, “I firmly believe that the universe dreams a bigger dream for you than you can dream for yourself….you’ve got to open yourself to the dream that the universe has for you…you’ve got to discover your true calling.”

Click here if you would like to work with purpose and live your dreams click here

Dream Big

Most people don’t dream big enough. Instead they take the save option or settle for less. Lack of confidence is often to blame and underlying this is an often unspoken expectancy that they won’t achieve their goals. I recall a story about a man who was driving with his wife one day. They were going to the stadium to see a game and were looking for a park. He was horrified when she pulled into a park miles away from the gates. “Why are you parking here? “He cried. “Because I’ll never get a park any closer.” Never mind where you’re parking your car, he later reflected, where are you parking your dreams?

Do you have a positive expectancy or are you settling for less?

Sometimes thinking big means you have to grow into your dreams. If you’re not growing chances are that you are not living either.

When I first started coaching I remember setting a big goal for myself that I wanted to present a workshop at a major international conference. I tapped into my creativity and intuition to help me by asking “How can I find a conference to present at?”

Little coincidences, or what intuitives refer to as synchronicity, started to occur. A newsletter was emailed to me from Australia telling all the people who subscribed to it about an upcoming conference in America. I was really excited and emailed off a proposal. Everyone said I was mad and that there was no way I would get selected to present my Passion Driven Work model of career planning. My business partners in The Passion Pack, who are normally really optimistic, said to me, “Selling passion to the Americans is like selling coal to people in Newcastle!” Still I kept my faith and kept visualising a successful outcome. Then one day the letter came telling me that we had been successful. Then I panicked! It was one thing to dream it; it was quite a different thing to actually have to achieve it! I panicked even more when I heard that Mike and Nigel couldn’t come with me. I felt that without them to support me I was going to be hopeless. I really had to work hard on my confidence to grow into this opportunity, I even considered not going.

But once I committed to my dream I was so pleased at the results. It was a full capacity crowd, I made some fantastic contacts, we sold all the Passion Packs I had taken over and I received a standing ovation. What really made the trip worthwhile was an email from a lady who attended:

“I don’t know who I am emailing…so whoever you are, could you please tell Cassandra Gaisford, that she was the most brilliant, most calming, most truth filled person I heard speak at the ICDC conference in San Francisco. When I heard Cassandra speak I knew she knew what she was talking about. I hate using words like career pathways, school to work, interest inventory etc..etc..It really is as simple as awakening oneself to dreams, passions etc to feel alive and happy.”

For me this was confirmation that when you come from the heart and believe in something with such a passion it inspires others and becomes a reality.

Click here if you would like to work with purpose and live your dreams click here

18 ways to stay positive in a negative environment

2009-03-31T23:17:00.000-07:00

Are you worried your organisation might trim staff numbers in the wake of the global credit crisis? Is your industry get hammered by negative publicity? Do your co-workers complain or worry out loud incessantly? Or are you feeling so stressed out that negativity has spread its suffocating tentacles around you? While you may have reason to feel down, with proactive action and a positive attitude you can survive and thrive in the wake of this crisis.

First, stay positive. It’s important not to panic. Wisdom suggests that when life turns to custard everyone would benefit by cultivating a calm, optimistic and pragmatic attitude. One of the best ways you can do this is to take control of the suggestive elements in your environment. Make a commitment to ensuring that what you are seeing, hearing and doing are consistent with the goals you want to achieve. Here’s how:

1. Choose your attitude:
As Viktor Frankl, Austrian Psychiatrist and survivor of the worst horrors imaginable during his imprisonment in various concentration camps said, you may not be able to choose the circumstances of your life, but the one thing no man can ever take from you is your attitude. “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
Sometimes, according to Frankl, disasters, setbacks and disappointments are gifts waiting to be revealed. In other words, we can choose to find meaning and purpose and even divine guidance during stressful and uncertain times. For example, Viktor’s experiences and compassion for his fellow human beings led him to work at ways to help people maintain their will to live. After his release he became world famous for developing “meaning therapy,” a valuable therapy technique he perfected during his time in the concentration camps.

Many other people have similar stories where what at the time looked like the end of the world, turned out to be an experience that steered them in a more positive direction - in some cases turning out to be the best thing that ever happened. As one client told me recently, "If I hadn’t been fired I’d still be looking out the window wishing I was somewhere else. I would have settled for less, and I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I’d be someone else. Someone less."
If Viktor Frankl, can find meaning and purpose in his unimaginable suffering, then I'm positive we all can too. How could your current negative situation turn out to be a silver-lining in disguise?

2. Fake it until you make it.
Proactively cultivate confidence and optimism. Opinions vary re whether we are really headed for a recession. Even the experts can’t agree. Things may not be so bard after all. But many economists agree that pessimistic, recessionary thinking and self-talk can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

As the National Bank economists said in their August 2008 Economic Outlook, “We cannot stress the importance of confidence enough. It’s not a key driver of wealth, but critical for maintaining momentum. Economics and business cycles are as much about human behaviour, the feel-good factor and risk appetites – as well as the laws of supply and demand.... it’s a game of confidence.... the danger is that fear and caution becoming self-fulfilling. Signs of improving confidence is the first critical step.”
One way to fake it until you make it is to affirm for what you want and keep your mind off what you don’t.

3. Meditate! Control your thoughts - control your destiny. Learn to meditate and practice this daily. Recent research published in New Scientist, has revealed that meditation can help to calm people and reduce fear. The research found that regular meditation can tame the amygdala, an area of the brain which is the hub of fear memory. People who meditate regularly are less likely to be shocked, flustered, surprised or as angry as other people and therefore have a greater stress tolerance threshold as a result.

Research also proves that people who meditate regularly suffer less from anxiety and have increased energy, creativity and self-control. By meditating regularly, the brain is reoriented from a stressful fight-or¬-flight response to one of acceptance, a shift that increases contentment, enthusiasm, and feelings of happiness. Make meditating for at least 20 minutes a day part of your daily routine for optimum success and well-being.

4. Bibliotherapy - Read your way to positivity! Immerse yourself in books which inspire and motivate. Tune out negative news and bad events and tune into positive news and information. Check out this link for more signs of economic optimism. We make real what we attend to so start collecting your own glad-rap clippings.

5.Be your biggest fan. Practice positive self talk. Under times of stress, or if you're a pessimist by nature, you're likely to spend a lot of time with negative self-talk. "I can't do this." "Nothing works out for me." Or, "I’m not a very confident person," are all common examples. Whatever situation you are facing pay attention to what you're telling yourself. All the above statements are all examples of really crippling affirmations Talk and affirm the positive instead. It will make a dramatic difference in how you feel. Make a conscious attempt to shift the focus on any pessimistic thoughts. Try saying things to yourself like, "I know I'll get through this." "What could I do today to stay relaxed?" "There are many things I do well and today I'll stay focused on those." “I’m a capable, confident person”

6.Get outside! True happiness comes from being outside. Just like plants, we need at least 20 minutes of sunlight every day just to restore our hormones to normal levels. Medical research suggests some people need as much as two hours a day of sunlight to avoid seasonal affective disorder. Walking outside can also help you gain a new perspective on a troubling situation. When you go outside and take a walk, you increase the electrical activity in your brain, you breathe negative ions and see in three dimensions. With time alone engaging the whole brain, you have an opportunity to process things that are troubling you and to see things more objectively, sometimes the solution is quite simple. Tap into the healing power of the great outdoors by walking near the sea or natural bush.

7. Be grateful! Celebrate what you do have. Sometimes it can be so easy to focus on what you don’t have that you forget to acknowledge all the things that you have in your life. For example good, health, a loving partner, freedom to do what you have supportive friends, a roof over your head, someone who loves you, a good education, living in a peaceful part of the world, experiences you’ve had, all the things that are good about you and that others appreciate etc

8. Rewind! Reflect back on previous crises - remember the positive changes which occurred as a result. Trust this will happen again. Keep a silver linings journal. Divide the pages in half. On one side record the thing that’s upset you and on the other side, the opportunity that could come of it. You may find you have to add this part later – sometimes the silver lining takes a wee while to be revealed.

9. Invest in colour. Surround yourself with colours and scents which reflect the way you want to feel and be. Many people love yellow when they are sad. Vincent Van Gogh, who suffered from depression, often painted in yellow – yellow skies, yellow grass, and yellow houses. Yellow! Choose a colour that that makes you feel fabulous! Boost your optimism, happiness and success by contacting me for a personalised colour analysis session. Visit me at Thecolourgirl.com to find out more - click here

10.Get around the right people. Take a wide berth away from moaners, pessimists and whingers and get around the people who know how to find opportunities in the midst of any life crisis. Associate only with positive, success-orientated people. As motivational guru Brian Tracey says, “Fly with the eagles. You can’t fly with the eagles if you’re scratching with the turkeys.” Walk away from the go-nowhere types. If those negative tigers you work with aren’t going to change their stripes get out fast. Start looking for another job before their pessimism or cynicism affects you too.

11. Listen your way to success. Help feed your positive vibes by listening to motivational tapes, CD’s or podcasts. The average person drives 12,000 to 25, 000 kms a year which works out to between 500 and 1000 hours per year. Put that time to good use and engage your brain. You can become an expert in your field by simply listening to educational audio programmes as your go from a to b.

12. Be visible. Now is not the time to go on leave. Out of sight out of mind – you may find your position could be axed while you're gone, Even if things have slowed down and the workload isn’t what it used to be now is not the time to cruise in around ten o'clock either. It’s all about perception management – if you look busy chances are the bosses will think they can’t do without you. Make it clear how invaluable you really are by identifying ways to stand out and distinguish yourself. If you're in sales, get your numbers up. Nobody will be laying off star salespeople. Get out from behind your desk and increase your visibility – proactively network and help others achieve their goals with your help whenever possible.

13. Create some spin. Future proof your career by making sure you're adding value at work by going above and beyond your basic job responsibilities, Be the first to initiate new ideas or to put your hand up for new assignments when asked. Don’t be shy about blowing your own trumpet – make sure your boss knows how you are adding value without being too self-focused.

Show how multi faceted and adaptive you are. Don't get a reputation as someone who is change adverse or who only does what they are told to do. Keep your eyes and ears open and proactively look for opportunities to get involved. Volunteer for value-add tasks, including tasks for which others may be responsible. Be a team player and pitch in wherever you can. Doing your job and doing it well is not enough in these economic times. Be prepared to show how you can go the extra mile.
Update your skill set. Future proof your career by staying in tune with marketable skills and experience. What social, economic or technological changes are coming up and how can you be work-ready with the skills, knowledge or training required?

This may mean forking out of your own pocket but the reality is companies get rid of people whose skills are obsolete. Take classes, join trade organisations, and prove you're in the know. Consider going back to school, perhaps even by correspondence, to show your employer you're serious about your career and your performance. Ask your way to success by finding out what is most relevant and needed by your current organisation. Future proof your career and ensure a good return on investment by finding out how marketable your new skill set will be outside your organisation.

14. Think and act positive. Attitude counts - a lot. Employers want people who can show resilience and boost morale during tough times. No one likes a whiner. It’s draining and counterproductive. Research shows happy, optimistic workers are less likely to get laid off than people who think and talk negatively and seem to dislike what they do. I have seen so many careers prematurely derailed because of negative attitudes. People seem to think they are bullet proof and neglect the importance of how they interact with others. If you moan about your job or complain about the boss odds are your manager may rationalise that giving you the sack would really be doing you a favor. You won’t turn any clients on by engaging in recessionary banter either.

15. Network! Network!Network! So many people wait until they’ve lost their job until they start tapping into their networks. Chances are that by the time this happens you’ll be calling out of desperation, needing their help to find work. Increasing your chances of keeping your current job or transitioning reasonably painlessly into a new job following a layoff often depends on how consistently you've contacted - and maybe even helped - lots of people when you didn't need them. Remember it’s not what you know but who you know and how they feel about you. Maintain positive relationships and don’t burn any bridges.

16. Get career fit. Update your CV, start visioning where else you might like to work or what else you might like to do, touch base with recruiters and sign up for electronic job alerts. It doesn’t hurt to keep your eye out for future opportunities and if you're mentally prepared for a move, you'll make a more informed and wiser one than if you wait until you're desperate.

17. Pursue your passion not your pension! Maybe your current position is perfectly "safe." But think about it for a while and you may find yourself wondering: Is "safe" good enough? Maybe it's time to change jobs anyway -- and heed the immortal words of Keith Richards, "I'm gonna leave while it's still fun/ I'm gonna walk before they make me run." Don't know what you're passionate about? Find it here!

Doing what you love and doing it well is also a cure during economic downturns. There will always be a demand for people who love what they do and who do it well. The key to recession proofing your career and surviving and thriving in the face of uncertainty is knowing how to do what you love and still pay the bills. If you have no idea how to find your passion Happy@Work Job Hunting for Mid-lifers+ will show you how. Follow this link to for free downloadable preview http://www.cassandragaisford.com/happy_at_work.html

18. Keep your dreams alive. Look at the big picture and the life you really desire. Don’t let present day worries rob you of your passion and enthusiasm for your dreams. Do something everyday to help make your dreams a reality. Get inspired! Start an image board with things you want accomplish or achieve. Look at it daily. Believe they will happen - tick them off as they do. Surround yourself with inspirational people who believe in you and the beauty of your dreams and do something everyday that you love!

If you have no idea how to boost your happiness at work Happy@Work Job Hunting for Mid-lifers+ will show you how. Follow this link for a free downloadable preview

Smile power

2009-03-11T12:43:00.000-07:00

You have the power!

I received this email today from one of the MANY inspirational newsletters I subscribe to (this one from Bruno's One Minute Commentary). I loved it so much I wanted to share it with you - it's so simple and so true. "When you smile the world smiles with you.

We all have incredible power but often don't realize it. I am talking about our SMILE power. Want to see if you have it? Next time you meet someone with a crabby face, smile and watch how he changes. Or when you're in an elevator with people you don't know, smile, say something friendly, and watch everyone's mood lighten up. But why should we use this special gift? Well, that one is easy. It's our responsibility to make other people feel good if we can. And smiling is one of the best ways to do so.

You can never give away a smile
- it always comes back.
- Anonymous

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller

Bruno&'s commentary
People have been talking about Mona Lisa's smile for 500 years! If you want another proof of smile power, watch how a telephone conversation brightens up when you smile as you talk, even though your conversation partner can't see you. Your smile alters your voice and sends out healthy energy and suddenly everything becomes positive. Need another proof? Smile at a child; you will get one back, immediately! And best of all: It's impossible to become angry when you smile!

Are you smiling right now?

Close up wants your help

2009-03-09T20:28:00.000-07:00

Close Up are doing a story on what appears to be our banks not passing on the official cash rate cuts to their business clients. That is, since July of last year the OCR has been cut by 4.5% while base lending rates to businesses have only been cut by 0.6% in the same period.

Some say our business owners are now subsidising our home owners.

Close Up would like to speak with a business owner who has recently gone bust and if they've had a bad run with their banker - all the better.

If you can help, please email Matt Chisholm - matt.chisholm@tvnz.co.nz

It's time for the banks, who's lending policies many blame for this recession, to come to the party and share the pain instead of profiting in times of boom and bust.

I sent my own bank an email with tips re how to save your home for there comment and never heard from them!

More signs of economic optimism

2009-03-09T18:55:00.000-07:00

Sick of all the sad-wrap? It's time for some glad-rap

Business is booming - despite what the media tells you - many businesses are not only surviving, they're thriving. Here's just a few:

Chocolate: cure-all even in the gloom. Cadbury chocolate confirmed this week that when the going gets tough, most of us reach for chocolate. Sales are up by 7%, with Dairy Milk streaking ahead with an 11% increase in sales.

Check out Deanna Gracies’s order book – this amazing jewellery designer says business has never been so good. Her order book is jam-packed. If you’re in the market for a custom designed work of art contact Deanna now before you have to go on a waiting list! Recession? What recession? There’s always a market for quality pieces of art that sets the soul ablaze with joy.

To get hold of Deanna and view her latest works click here

Wood exports are also up with strong demand from China. Praise be to wood, the natural choice.

Upholstery cleaning services are up as people hang onto their furniture. Now that’s got to be good for the environment.

Pre-loved, second hand retailers are all thriving in this economic environment. I’m amazed at the bargains you can pick up at the local Sal-ie Army store! I just picked up a great potato masher for 10cents! Check out quality second hand clothing stores and look fabulous for less.

Loan companies are doing very nicely as people seek refuge from poor cash flow. I’ve noticed a whole raft of innovative companies starting up to help people collect bad debts too. Just shows where there’s a crisis there’s an opportunity.

Education providers are doing very nicely thank you as people take the opportunity to upskill. If you’re going to be poor you may as well invest in your future. Some institutions are turning people away as numbers overflow.

Kiwibank profits are up as people switch banks and go with kiwi owned.

Air New Zealand has money in the bank while other airlines are in the red and some close their doors.

Holiday bargains are helping boost sales for the tourism industry.

Fuel prices continue to go down as do mortgage rates and house prices – making many things more affordable for people.

Check out more good news here

Creative play

2009-03-09T14:38:00.000-07:00

This will be "home" for the next 3 + years - the architecture studio at Victoria University. Lucky for me my previous study has been recognised so I don;t start until June this year. So I'm making the most of some outdoors time and engaging in creative play at my rural retreat.

You can follow my own transformational journey as I morph into an architect here. It is a dream and passion I have held for years and now it’s finally coming true! Maybe folliowing my own courageous journey will inspire you.

If you could do with a courage boost you'll benefit from my new eBook Boosting Courage - The Competitive Edge

Boosting Courage - The Competitive Edge is based on the practical and proven techniques that we use when consulting with clients on a one-to-one basis. Discover how you too can overcome barriers, boost your confidence and be more successful. .
.
The strategies in this workbook will teach you how to:
• Understand the psychology of fear
• Reprogram your mind for success
• Identify and successfully overcome common fears
• Minimise the risk of things going wrong by helping you make informed decisions
• Dress for success and stay calm under pressure
• Feel the fear and do it anyway
• Fulfill your potential

Download a free sample and purchase here

Fulfill your potential and live your dreams today!

ELetter Creativity, Fulfillment and Flow - sample

2009-03-05T19:13:00.000-08:00

I've always found tremendous comfort and excellent tips from a variety of newsletters I subscribe to. Sometimes they are not relevant, sometimes they are bang on the money - giving me just the boost I need. I set up little folders in Outlook and save them across for a time when I need a motivational kick start again.

Spurred on by my passion for helping others and the joy I get from writing and sharing knowledge with others, I have been writing my own eNewsletters for over a decade now! The feedback I get from the thousands of people who subscribe keeps me writing and there is always some new challenge or some amazing new idea that I have just got to share.

In the case of the newsletter below I was inspired by a talk I saw on Ted.com - along with some amazing occurences of "flow" in my own life.

If you like this newsletter sign up for monthly inspiration delivered right to your door. My eNewsletters are free, practical and positive - increasinglyl rare qualities in today's competitive climate.

Newsletter October 2008

Table of Contents:
Hello
Creativity, fulfillment and flow
Tips for those wanting more Creativity, fulfillment and flow
Creative quotes about flow
What I'm up to
Helpful resources
Until next time

1. Hello

In a wonderful instance of synchronicity the other day I received an email with a link to a talk by one of my favorite creativity experts Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi.

In the talk he asks, "What makes a life worth living?" Money cannot make us happy, he says -- instead, he urges us to learn from people who find pleasure and lasting satisfaction in activities that bring about a state of "flow." Check out his talk here

The timing of this email to his podcast was amazing. I was just sitting down to write this newsletter, following on from a survey I had created two weeks ago about flow and finding your career nirvana.

One of the questions I ask is “what is flow? For me creativity, fulfillment and synchronistic support to things that I am passionate about is all about flow When I’m in flow things seem to happen so easily. Like the commission I was given and recently completed to create a beautiful, soothing painting. Follow the creation process here

2. Creativity, fulfillment and flow

“All My life I have been mistaken in measuring the significance of any work by the struggles that went into it.”
Henri Matisse, Artist

Some of the most common questions I am asked by people who seeking coaching is, “How can I find out what I’m good at?” and “How can I be sure that I will enjoy it?” Whilst these questions may seem daunting, the past is often a good predictor of the future. Often we just need reminding of the times and circumstances in our lives when we felt inspired or energized by something, and of the times when our skills just seemed to flow. Such times can provide clues to our passions and unique strengths and talents.

I feel most in flow when I am creating. I lose all track of time when I am painting. The most fulfilling part of this is creating something that is innately satisfying to me and that the recipient truly loves. I feel excited, energized and truly complete. Sometimes before I sit down to paint I find it really hard to get going. During such times I find Picasso’s words of wisdom, “Inspiration has to find us working” motivates me into action.

I discipline myself and say I will give it 30 minutes and that's all. Very often I find that 3-4 hours later I am blissfully painting and find it hard to tear myself away.

Coaching, and writing articles and books that help people to follow their bliss produces the same state. I feel a huge sense of purpose and people comment positively about my flow-inspired works. Business psychologist and author Jasbindr Singh's fantastic foreward for my new book confirms how much spiritual and creative flow has gone into creating this book. Read her foreward here

3. Tips for finding your flow

Learn from others: - How do you know if you are in the flow? Check out some of the signs and read some inspiring examples of people who have achieved success and fulfillment through powerful creativity

Watch Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi's talk on creativity, fulfillment and flow

Find your flow – take the career nirvana quiz. Get 5 other people to sign up to our newsletter and take the quiz too then email me when you have completed it and I will send you a complimentary eBook on how to you’re your bliss

Self-develop your way to flow: - You can read more about the spiritual, healing power of art on my blog as well as see images created with flow and art that has truly healed people’s souls.

4. Creative quotes – creative flow

"The first step (to higher happiness) is to develop the habit of doing whatever needs to be done with concentrated attention, with skill rather than inertia. Even the most routine tasks, like washing the dishes, dressing, or mowing the lawn become more rewarding if we approach them with the care it would take to make a work of art."
- Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi , Psychologist

"A really good picture looks as if it's happened at once. It's an immediate image. For my own work, when a picture looks labored and overworked, and you can read in it—well, she did this and then she did that, and then she did that—there is something in it that has not got to do with beautiful art to me. And I usually throw these out, though I think very often it takes ten of those over-labored efforts to produce one really beautiful wrist motion that is synchronized with your head and heart, and you have it, and therefore it looks as if it were born in a minute."
- Helen Frankenthaler, artist

“Natural abundance comes from “getting into the flow” by doing work that that brings a sense of inner excitement. The phrase “follow your inner joy” is actually the key to abundance. Once your follow your inner most joy and adapt your situation to doing work that you love, then synchronicity begins to flow. Synchronicity is the Universe’s way of telling you that you are on the right track.”
- Owen Walters, Author

5. What I'm up to

Happy@work
Amazing flow has been happening with my creative project Happy@work: job hunting for mid-lifers. Just when I’d been stopped dead in my tracks by huge printing costs helpful people suddenly appeared – including a publisher who is very interested in taking over the project. Check out the amazing “go-incidences” that have miraculously come to my aid.

RSVP TO LAUNCH:

Don't forget to put a bright orange circle around the 28th of November 5:30 - 7:30, at Exhibitions Gallery, Featherston Street, Wellington.
Secure you place of happiness by RSVPing to cassandra@cassandragaisford.com.
It promises to be a great night! Check out the amazing people who will be there to entertain you

Click here for Happy@work updates, tips to increase your current levels of happiness and see the work in progress.

Coaching creative people
This year, as many of you know, I have made a concentrated effort to move away from work that doesn't fill me with joy toward work that does. It's a no brainer...but it did take some time to crystallize. Sometimes the most innovative solutions are the simplest.

While exhibiting alongside deNada fashion as part of the Joy'ance exhibition I was approached by Nada to help her grow her business and still retain her life. I was flattered and immediately leapt to the challenge. It was a mutual colliding of passions

Find out more about deNada and how coaching is helping her business continue to create amazing produces and services

New paintings
Hot on the tails of two very successful commissions I am feeling reinspired. Preview new works of art for upcoming Jouissance exhibition and check out the journey from blank canvas to work of art

I’m on canvas!
Life took a surprising turn...finishing with this delightful and quite unexpected email from Mark Olsen
"I have just finished and named a painting after you for an exhibition that I have in Christchurch this Thursday - will send an image tomorrow - Mark"

Here she is...She is part of a collection for an exhibition that Mark Olsen is having with Fisher Galleries in Christchurch, opening this Thursday night

6. Interesting Links and helpful resources

Get a business coach
If you would like some help starting or growing your business please contact me - I'm passionate about your passion and helping you succeed!

Boost your creativity
Create a work of heART - Register now for creativity workshops.
Learn how to:
start out on your own creative journey
Break through barriers that are blocking your creative expression
Tap into latent, undiscovered talents
Create your preferred future
Next workshop Saturday 22 November in Wellington. Contact me to register or for more details

Think and grow positive
Coming up with fresh and innovative ideas requires positive, proactive and inspired thinking. Get rid of negative thinking and boost your creative powers. hear an excerpt from The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale to help you think and grow positive

Learn to value creativity
What will the world of work look like in 2030? This is when kids starting school now will graduate! We don't even know what the world of work will look like in 2 years let alone 21 years. The future of work requires creative thinkers about to adapt to rapidly changing circumstances. Are school educating kids out of their creativity? Hear UK author and creativity expert Sir Ken Robinson

7. Until next time

We can stay in touch via my blog – I’ll be posting regular updates on the powerful creativity blog and happy@ work blog too. I’m currently teaching myself the joys of podcasting – stay tuned to both these blogs for progress. I have some very inspiring audio interviews with people living and creating with passion, which I’ll upload soon.

Don't forget to put a bright orange circle around the 28th of November 5:30 - 7:30, at Exhibitions Gallery, Featherston Street, Wellington. Secure you place of happiness by RSVPing to cassandra@cassandragaisford.com.
It promises to be a great night!

I love to hear your success stories. Please send me a note...
You can email me at: info@cassandragaisford.com
Copyright (c) 2008, All Rights Reserved. Permission is granted to reproduce copy or distribute this newsletter as long as this copyright notice and full information as below about contacting the author is attached:
The author of this newsletter is Cassandra Gaisford. Cassandra has an intense passion for art in all its guises. She believes in the power of creativity to transform people’s lives, making them feel refreshed, playful, inspired and adventurous.
Cassandra is a leading expert on the topic of passion, career success and worklife balance. Cassandra is a popular and widely recognised author and motivational speaker as well as a columnist and career expert for the Dominion Post. Her free Newsletter is available at both her web sites: www.cassandragaisford.com

Update: Happy@work: job hunting for mid-lifer’s+

2009-03-04T19:51:00.000-08:00

So many of you have been asking when the book is coming out. Just as I have been thanking you for your patience and continued interest, so too have my prospective publishers been thanking me.

Just the other day I received this email:

“Unfortunately you caught us at a difficult time, in light of the economic downturn. It’s been an incredibly tough year for the local publishing industry. Therefore, could I please just ask you to bear with me just a little longer? I should have a clearer idea of where we’re at in a week or two. Many thanks, once again, for your forbearance. I’ll be in touch as soon as I can.”

So Happy@work is still live, but just not published. It’s a catch 22 for all involved – the book is needed but the money to produce is tight. Meanwhile I still have my backup plan in place – self-publication. The wonderful team at Fitzbeck Creative are beavering away tweaking the gorgeous graphics and polishing other elements. Either way, international publisher or self-publication, Happy@work will be released this year. I didn’t come this far to have it sit around collecting dust.

Plus, as you may have read in last month’s newsletter, I believe in the transformational power of this book with such a passion I’m willing to back myself 150%. I’ve actually been applying the principals of the book as I take a big career leap and pursue my passion for architecture. You can follow this exciting journey here http://www.cassandragaisford.com/2009/01/architecture-of-work.html - - there's lots of real time tips to help anyone contemplating a big change in career

In the meantime don't forget you can download free chapters and pre-purchase a signed copy from www.cassandragaisford.com - click here to be taken straight to the link