Today I felt a heart-wrenching body/mind/soul disconnect...I felt so sick, so out of sorts, so despairing of what i was doing and what I was listening to.....and the wonderful thing is that I know that this yucky feeling is such a gift. It is an indicator of being out of alignment with my true sense of self.

I won't go into too many details - out of respect to the people I was interacting with.....suffice to say I was sitting in a government institution talking about things I no longer love with a passion.

My intuition came to my rescue - while sitting in the foyer I flipped randomly to an article about butterflies. Random? No divine! Here is what I read:

"As it turns out the caterpillar has to virtually die before the transformation can begin."

Powerful stuff! I have felt like that....I know I am in transition...I know this because my clients tell me this is how they feel all the time...but until now I haven't really felt it - not for 8 years or so. Not since I last shed my skin. Back then I hung so tightly to a role that had outlived its purpose that I got shingles!

So I'm sharing this with you now in the hope that my story of transition helps you with your own journey toward pursuing things that make you feel good.

The lesson is to listen to your body barometer - how you feel matters. Our own personal guidance systems will steer us toward the things that give us light. If we didn't get to a point of such incredible discomfort I doubt we would have the impetus we need to change. Know that everything begins with an idea. But this idea needs hope, faith, courage and often huge amounts of time to re-emerge anew. Someone once told me that the struggle is what gives the butterfly its colour.

Today after feeling so blah, I didn't allow myself to get discouraged by saying "I can never make my dream to study architecture happen." I kept looking at ways to make it happen, I kept feeling optimistic, I kept my sense of expectation and then while trying to steer myself away from discouragement in quick succession came divine interventions:

1. Two people emailed me about renting my property for 1-2 years. This would free me up so much. I can then live in my self contained apartment without mortgage worries - esp as my daughter is going to study overseas (in Christchurch!)
2. A dear friend from over 30 years ago face booked me yesterday and then unexpectedly today sent me a logo concept for my new venture "the colourgirl" - I felt instantly uplifted! He got me! He got my vision! He knew what I wanted to say visually that I didn't know how to write with words. His talent, passion and initiative restored my hope!.


The moral of the story is keep the faith and look in the direction of your dreams - find a way to kept distracting yourself from feelings of entrapment. When you are in the vibration of hope you are a far cry from the vibration of despair.

"Change is the end result of all true learning. Change involves three things: First, a dissatisfaction with self-a felt void or need; second, a decision to change-to fill the void or need; and third, a conscious dedication to the process of growth and change-the willful act of making the change; Doing Something."
Dr. Phil